Euphoria

Ruminations: Big and Little Bullys. II

"So...usually these things start off with an apology" I say my inner self struggling to keep myself sounding bored especially when all the anger and sadness and fucking exhaustion of everything that had happened between us, now sat in this fucking tiny room. I watched as Cole seemed to curl more into himself like he was hiding from me. He sat mere inches away yet he looked as if he was anywhere but here.  I watched as his fingers curled into his hand and his jaw was so tightly clenched that I thought he would fucking break it. 

"I'm sorry" he states and I raise an eyebrow at his brilliant apology. Why would I expect anything else. He was Cole Anderson he could play anybody like a fucking fiddle I just never expected to be the one to get played. 

"You hear that Anderson twins? He apologised. We're good now" I cry rolling my eyes, as I realise I could no longer hear the Anderson siblings, who were more than likely long gone. 

"Can you stop that?" Cole hisses and my eyes snap towards him. He was looking down at the floor his chin tucked so closely to his chest now that I thought his neck could snap any second. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? You're telling me what to do now? Where do you get off Anderson" I spit and his eyes snap to mine. His eyes were furious and red. Was he fucking crying?

"Stop it" he spits again and I shake my head laughing cruelly now.

"Stop what? Huh?" I hiss and he jumps up before he grips onto the first thing he finds, which just happens to be his chair and throws it across the room until it makes contact with his desk causing a massive thump. Luckily the Andersons Uncle and Aunty weren't here. I'm sure they wouldn't appreciate their nephew possibly causing neighbours to question what happened in this house. 

"Stop pretending" he growls as his anger turns onto me and he storms towards me until his thighs touch my knees while he glares down at me. My heart leaps to my throat and blood begins to pound in places that I absolutely do not want to be associated with Cole Anderson. How the hell had I ever fallen for this angry asshole. 

"Pretending what?" I ask sounding confused and I watched as he ran fingers through his hair almost hard enough that I nearly reached out and stopped him from ripping hair out of his own head. 

"You're playing a dangerous game," he rasps out. 

"I'm playing a dangerous game? You literally played me since we first fucking met" I spit letting that anger slip out for a second before I placed the mask back on my face. I watched as he took a step back for a second looking almost hurt. 

"Is that what you really think?" he asks and I shake my head 

"No. It's not. I don't give a fuck to be quite honest" I hiss and the anger spreads back onto his face and he leans down closer to me. 

"No. You fucking said it. Stop pretending like we fucking meant nothing" he growls "Stop pretending like I didn't fucking love you, like you didn't fucking love me" he hisses and my mouth opens slightly but nothing comes out and finally my body falls into it's self. 

"What do you want me to say huh?" I ask weakly "you want me to say that I love you? After all you've done. You literally had a girl grinding on your dick like only a couple of days ago and you want me. Me? To fucking boost your ego by saying that you're all I think about every night? You've done nothing but hurt me Cole. Whatever that shit was before doesn't matter because right now. Right now I want to throw up every time I see you. Right now we're not even fucking friends. You're not even my best friends brother. You're just the guy who makes me feel like I'm worth fucking nothing. Like maybe I deserve to end up just like my Mum" I spit and I didn't even realise tears were streaming down my face. I saw the tears streaming down his face too. Even though he was trying his hardest to hold them in. He shook his head before he dropped to his knees and I stiffened as his head fell onto my knees