love letters- jess mariano

20. knowing me, knowing you

a week had passed and i hadn't got out of bed. it was lucky i was in spring break, because i had no clue how i would have managed getting to school. i couldn't even remember the last time i had showered.

my mom walked upstairs with a rubbish bag. "sabrina, you have lay all week in bed and not moved once." she began as she started throwing away all the empty packets of chips, candy, cans of soda; anything that i could have possibly had in my room over the past week.

"i know you're upset, but there becomes a point where you just gotta get up and over it." she told me, as she hung the rubbish bag on the door handle.

"plus, you smell like crap." she called out walking to the bathroom where she turned the shower on.

"thanks mom." i yelled back rolling my eyes at her comment.

she walked back to the door and placed her hands onto her hips. "get up and get in the shower." she sternly said, as i continued to just lay there. "i'm not gonna say it again." she sighed shaking her head. she obviously decided that enough was enough when she grabbed my arm and pulled me out of bed herself, then proceeding to push me into the bathroom and told me she would be waiting outside until i was done.

"bit harsh don't you think?" my dad chuckled, as he walked past my mom sat on the floor with her magazine.

"it's what's got to be done" she shrugged, as she flicked through the pages.

since i had been distracted by the whole jess situation; i hadn't even acknowledged that my dad had basically moved back in with us.

-

i unlocked the door and stood with a towel wrapped around me and one on my head and gave my mom a smile. "you happy now?" i mocked.

"yes." she sighed with relief. "now get dressed properly. i'm taking you out." she told me.

"but-"

"do it!" she yelled, before walking downstairs.

-

my mom and i were sat in the massage chairs at the nail salon getting a pedicure together. my mom was right. i already felt so much better. this was most likely because i was doing anything i possibly could to get jess off my mind. however, i knew i couldn't keep laying in a bed surrounded by a bunch of crap, allowing myself to feel like crap, whilst smelling of crap- so keeping him off my mind was most likely for the best.

"i love that colour." mom smiled looking down at the colour being painted onto my toes.

"thanks." i smiled at her, as i rested my head back.

my mom turned to look at me and grabbed my hand, "it'll all be okay, you know." she tried to reassure me, but it only reminded me of what jess had said. 'it's all okay' to be honest, i could have laughed. the irony. it was not fucking okay.

the whole thing wasn't easy and i missed him like hell, but right now. i couldn't do anything about it.