love letters- jess mariano

22. this is what you came for

i was on my way to my mom's shop when i had noticed luke was packing a bunch of stuff into his truck

i noticed lorelai and rory walking out of luke's with smiles on their faces. without hesitation i walked up to them and asked what was going on. "uh, it's jess." lorelai sighed knowing this could be sensitive subject for me.

my curiosity instantly grew and i felt concern, "what do you mean?"

"he's moving back home." she stated, as my eyes widened and i felt some sort of lump in my front.

"uh, he's getting a job back where his mom lives and yeah." rory nodded with a quiet tone of voice.

i looked down at the ground with sadness, but instantly tried to mask it my plastering a smile on my face, "well," i said clearing my throat. "that's great for him, i'm really happy for him." i smiled. i was happy it meant things with his mom were alright, but i was not happy he was leaving.

i didn't care how selfish that was. i had already lost him as a part of my life, but i couldn't bear to think i would probably never see him again.

there was an interval of awkward silence, "uh, i gotta head to my mom's shop." i smiled pointing at her shop across the way.

"oh yeah, sure." lorelai smiled. "we will see you tonight" she said referring to the fashion show my mom was hosting tonight at the inn.

my dad and i were ecstatic for her. this was her passion and she was finally fulfilling it, even if it was just a small town thing- we were so proud of her.

-

everything was so hectic. everybody was rushing around to find their clothes and make sure they looked perfect. "sabrina, here's your dresses." my mom said handing me them. "go and get into your first one."

"okay." i nodded, as i went to get changed.

i looked at myself in the mirror. the dress was beautiful. it was a stunning cranberry pink with thin spaghetti straps and fit perfectly on my body.

my mom came running in with the little headset she had on, "your up." she told me. "go, go, go." she rushed, as i did a little run over to the runway.

i took a deepbreath, before walking out. i was nervous, but i was taught to look straight to the back of the room and stand tall.

however, i was half way down the runway when i met eyes with jess. he was stood at the back with his arms crossed watching the show. my eyes widened a little and i let out a small breath, before snapping back to reality and putting a smile on my face, as i posed at the end.

i was on my third dress and since knowing jess was there i was way more nervous than usual. "you're doing great, honey." my mom smiled, as she pushed me out to walk for the last dress.

i took a deep breath, stood tall and kept my eyes to the back of the room. "and finally the beautiful sabrina collins." my dad announced, as he described the dress with the script my mom had given him. "just look at that detailing." he commented, before raising a finger. "not too closely." he warned with a stern face, as the audience let out a chuckle.

the whole time i stared right at jess, every time i walked down the runway. i wanted to speak to him. i wanted to know when he was leaving. i wanted to tell him i still loved him. i wanted to know how he felt about me.

there were a ton of people sat watching me but my eyes were only on that one guy.

-

i sighed, as i got changed into my after party dress. i brushed my hair through a little, before putting it up into a messy updo. i looked in the mirror and tried to be happy for myself, but i couldn't. i couldn't get jess off my mind.

suddenly, i heard the calling of emily gilmore. i closed my eyes before bracing myself to go out.

"sabrina!" she smiled hugging me. "you were wonderful." she complimented me, as my eyes widened and an awkward smile came upon my face. "thanks." slowly said, unsure where this excitement and well kindness came from.

i quickly noticed jess stood against the door in his usual stance, leaning slightly with his arms crossed. i raised my eyebrows slightly, before turning to my grandma, "i'm just gonna-" i quietly say pointing over at jess.

i could see the grimace on her face, as i said that. she tried to hide it but nothing could. i walked slowly over to him, hoping to be able to speak to him, but nothing.

it was like i was swallowing all of my words and couldn't get them back up. so i just stood there looking blankly at him.

he handed me a book. i looked at it for a moment, before taking it from him. as soon as i did he walked away and left. i opened the first page of the book, 'meet me at our spot at 10pm.'