Unconditional

Chapter 14

For the first time, today, I experienced something that may seem simple to some.

A date, with no expectations of something more. A date, where my boundaries were respected, yet left my heart fluttering. In innocent excitement, my soul grew curious about this new world. A time that served solely to share a good time, bond through quality time, and be fully engaged in one another... How strange?

It's not as though I haven't had many dates, rather I've attended quite a few with previous partners. Ah, but they were never without expectations attached. I'm sure the overarching want could be guessed, but my heart never wanted to look into why. Why did every partner come on so strongly, so touchy, so aggressive to make them feel good? It appeared every nice thing had something behind it. Never for anyone but themselves- the charity ended up as loans. Sometimes I wish I had seen it early, that would have saved me so much heartbreak, trauma, and dread. Other times, I am grateful to have just learned the lesson.

Now is one of those times. I learned many things in my time of dating... Most importantly how to love myself. As I used up all my energy trying to be loved by others, I put myself in situations that jeopardized my own values to make another happy. I'm forever thankful to have been able to realize that fact even though it meant going through rough times. With learning boundaries, and how to recognize red flags, all served a purpose and this is the mindset that kept me going.

It's easy to get caught up in the idea that everyone is crappy when all you have been exposed to is crappy people... But times that I share with Malikai have shown me more to life than I could have imagined.

Throughout our friendship, Malikai had been the first guy to have given me so much platonic love. His gentle and affectionate nature never wavered as we grew closer. His pure intentions illuminated in not just his words but through his actions, during the years we have known each other. Mal had consistently shown his loyalty regardless of the fact we never had a sexual relationship. Something of a first for me.

Although he is not my first boyfriend or even my first kiss, Malikai has served as many firsts for me. Firsts in which I hold much more valuable than any others.

"Thank you, Mal, truly this is my first time experiencing such a pure date." My eyes drew towards his, my voice coming out lighter than anticipated. Clearing my throat, I continued, "I had a lovely time. I'll be aiming to plan a date just as amazing as yours for next time, deal?"

Mal's former expressionless face perked up as he jolted his head in my direction. Making eye contact, his bright green eyes sparkled back at me with tenderness. Lifting his lips to a smile, Malikai revealed a perfect showcase smile.

"Of course Aruna. I had hoped today would bring you joy, if not, what would the point be? And you don't have to try too hard, anything with you is more than wonderful." Leaning over, Mal pressed his soft lips on my cheek momentarily. "Ah just the thought of your face whenever you are excited, do you know how precious you look in those moments?" Moving his head upwards, Malikai quickly placed a kiss upon my forehead, persisting as he placed even more enthusiastic pecks all over my face.

The simple words that exited his lips, "...if not, what would the point be?", the small, rhetorical question stopped me in my tracks. My mouth parted as my eyes began to tingle with that familiar sensation. Gently closing my eyelids, a felt a hot tear drip down my nose and rest on my trembling lips.

One allowed for another, my cheeks slowly being painted in my own clear ink. Perhaps it was the wetness of my skin or the gentle quiver I couldn't hold back, whatever it may have been Mal halted in his affectionate action.

"I-..." My voice stumbled out, embarrassed I left my eyes closed as I tried to compose myself enough to speak. "I'm sorry, I di- I didn't mean to start crying. I just-" My voice hiccuped as I raised a hand to cover another sob.