habits, supernatural [ 1 ]

051. doppelgangers

"And how my two favorite meatsicles and the little lady?" Chet asks as the three hunters walk into Rufus' basement.

"Is he still sucking air?" Dean asks.

"Greatest hits didn't do the trick. I'm down to B-sides and deep cuts." Bobby says.

"Well, you better figure out something quick. That whammy that witch dude put on him is only gonna last for a few days. He gets his spinach back, we're gonna end up having to drop a car on him just to stop him." Dean says.

"Actually... Edgar walked away from that car. He's fine." Chet informs. "Well, he is a little pissed at you, but-- oh. You didn't know?" He asks, seeing their faces.

"Why don't you shut your cake trap?" Dean suggests.

"Ooh." Chet whispers.

"Bobby... you've been using all this stuff and he still won't talk?" Sam asks. Dean grabs a chair and sits next to Chet.

"Huddle over, coach?" Chet remarks.

"How'd you find us?" Dean asks.

"It was easy. I used pattern recognition software and a basic heuristic algorithm to track down your aliases." Chet says.

"Great. Just what we need -- a Mensa monster." Bobby remarks.

"Where'd you get our aliases?" Sam asks.

"From your trench-coated friend, obviously. When we were all nestled in at Camp Cas, kind of got the full download. That's just how we do." Chet says.

"So why are you talking to us, Chet? You're not dumb. Why you spilling state secrets?" Bobby asks.

"Cause I'm not scared of you. You can't stop me. You can't stop any of us. We can't be killed, you stupid little chewtoys. You are aware that I'm the least of your concerns, right?" Chet asks. "Oh. You haven't watched the news today, have you?"

~ ~ ~

"The two men, who up until today were presumed dead, locked the doors and opened fire, leaving no survivors. Sam and Dean Winchester are now the subjects of a manhunt throughout the state of California." The news reporter says as footage as Sam and Dean shooting people in a vault plays.

Bobby turns the TV off.

"Busy morning, you two?" He asks the boys.

"You guys do realize I was joking about the psychopath comments, right?" Larissa remarks.

"Those sons of bitches xeroxed us." Dean says.

"But I don't understand how." Sam says.

"I don't know. Maybe one of them touched you at the hospital." Bobby suggests.

"It was the hair!" Chet shouts. "Not too hard to lift some DNA out of a motel shower drain, guys!"

"You can copy people like that?" Dean asks and Bobby shrugs. "Awesome. Well, what is their plan, exactly?"

"Squeeze us. Turn us into the most wanted men in America." Sam says.

"Again." Larissa quietly adds.

"All right. Well, that settles it. We find these ass monkeys, and we kill them ourselves." Dean says.

"Wait a sec. Every form of law enforcement in the country has seen your ugly mugs this morning." Bobby says.

"Exactly. So what's the point in trying to hide?" Dean asks.

"Better than sticking your fool neck out. These things are smarter than you." Bobby says.

"Geez, Bobby, don't sugarcoat it." Sam quips.