habits, supernatural [ 1 ]

059. clowns are bitches

Sam and Larissa are leaning against the car while Dean waits at the payphone for Frank. Sam is reading a newspaper and Larissa is leaning against him, her head resting on his arm as her eyes flit across the paper.

"Hello?" Dean answers the ringing phone. "I am the eggman." He rolls his eyes. Larissa quietly laughs as Sam smiles. "Seriously, Frank, pay phones? I mean, come on. I-I'm getting the clap off this thing just touching it. Fred Savage? Really? Yeah, no, I know, big mouths are everywhere. Uh, well, since you asked, some actual intel on the Dick Roman guy would be nice. Fine. All right. Yeah, good looking out."

Dean puts the phone up, walking over to the two.

"I hope he finds something quick. This whole protocol du jour thing's really creeping my cheese." Dean says.

"So, we got dick on Dick?" Sam asks.

"That's a vivid way of putting it." Dean comments. "You find anything on Wonder Woman?"

"No. And there probably won't be. They are definitely gone. But..." Sam shows Dean an article about a possible case. "I might have found something over in Kansas."

"All right, well, let's do it. But, uh, a few simple rules, okay? No babies." Dean says making the younger two smile. "In fact, no baby mamas. No bars. No booze. No hot chicks of any kind."

"Wait, wait, wait. Did you just say--"

"Hey. You spawn a monster baby, see how quick you want to dive back in the pool." Dean says, walking to the car.

"Um... you better not be spawning any monster babies, cause I know for fact, I am human." Larissa says.

"Nah, don't worry. I only plan to spawn a bunch of human babies." Sam assures, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

"Define "a bunch"." Larissa says making Sam laugh.

"How about we just worry about even being able to practice making them first." Sam suggests.

"Good plan." Larissa says. Sam grins and then kisses her on the temple.

+++

They're in the morgue and stand around the table, the doctor pulling the sheet back to reveal the man, his body covered in raised sores, ranging in size. Larissa grimaces at the body, hating this part of the job.

"Ohh. Those are not the fun kind of hickeys." Dean says.

"You're-- you're saying an octopus did this?" Sam asks.

"Not just any octopus. Based on welt diameter, Enteroctopus dofleini." The doctor says.

"And for those of us that skipped the enteroctopus class?" Dean asks.

"Giant Pacific Octopus." The doctor says.

"How giant we talking, doc?" Dean asks.

"Approximately 30 feet." The doctor says.

"I mean, aren't... giant octopi rare around here?" Sam asks with a short laugh.

"Yet here we are." The doctor says.

"All right, so what happens? Guy comes home, cracks a beer, and gets... suckered to death?" Dean asks.

"Obviously, this was some kind of freak fetish attack. Someone created those hickey marks, then bled the man out." The doctor says. He turns the man's head to expose a wound on the side of the throat.

~ ~ ~

"That bite look a little vamp-y to you two?" Dean asks.

"Yeah, no question." Sam says.