EVERYTHING IS JUST SO NUMB. EVERYONE SAYS "OH THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON" "GOD PUTS PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE FOR A REASON" WELL THEN THE FUCKING REASON MUST BE SO I CAN BE COMPLETELY MISERABLE BECAUSE IS A BANG AFTER ANOTHER. I LOVE HIM. I SHOULD HAVE JUST LISTENED TO EVERYONE WHO SAID I WAS GONNA GET MY HEART BROKEN. BECAUSE THIS FUCKING SUCKS. LOVE FUCKING SUCKS. I TRY I TRY SO FUCKING HARD GUYS I TRY TO DISTRACT MYSELF BUT IN EVERY SONG I LISTEN TOO I FIND A PIECE OF HIM, IN EVERY BEAUTIFUL THING I SEE, I THINK OF HIM BECAUSE HES ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS. IN A ROOM FULL OF ART ID STILL STARE AT HIM. BUT IT ISNT THE SAME BACK. HE CAN CARE LESS ABOUT ME. ITS JUST IN THE LITTLE TIME IVE FALLEN FOR HIM (FIVE MONTHS) EVERYONE ALWAYS SAID "HEY HES STARING AT YOU" "IT SEEMS LIKE HE LIKES YOU" "HE THINKS YOURE CUTE"
I HAD HOPE THAT THINGS WOULD TURN OUT WELL. ON FRIDAY I WOKE UP WITH A FEVER AND DIDNT GO TO SCHOOL. I KNEW HE WAS GOING TO MOVE BUT MY FRIEND SAID HE WAS MOVING WEDNESDAY AND I WASNT GONNA BE THERE THAT DAY AND SINCE TODAY IS MEMORIAL DAY THERES NO SCHOOL. SO I PLANNED OUT TOMORROW THAT I WAS GONNA TALK TO HIM SAY GOODBYE. WHEN HE POSTED A PIC OF HIS NEW ROOM I FELT MY BODY SHUT DOWN. FRIDAY WAS HIS LAST DAY AND I DIDNT GO. WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME!?
AND THE WORST PART IS I CANT SEE MYSELF WITH ANYONE ELSE I CANT SEE MYSELF LIKING ANYONE ELSE OR GOING FOR ANYONE ONE ELSE.
I really felt like he was the one for me...
