so now he's really gone. Forever. I don't really know how to feel? I mean it comes in cycles like through the day there are certain places I'd see him after class and every time I pass there I have a glimpse of hope that he might come walking but he hasn't and it's all sinking in. like I'd get really sad, then I'm fine, then I'm mad, and it's all just one huge mess.
I like him to much and it hurts that I can't see his smile again. I mean yeah I follow him on Instagram and I see all his pics but I can never get the reassurance that he's okay because everyday i see him smile it puts me at ease that he's happy, all I want for him is to be fucking happy. You can do anything you want I just need to know that you are okay that you are fine that I don't have to worry because if you're happy that's all that matters.
ha.. I've always heard people say that you know you're really in it for someone when you put their happiness over yours. I just.
I LOVE HIM. I LOVE HIS VOICE HOW DEEP AND RASPY IT IS. I LOVE HIS HANDS HOW BIG AND MUSCULAR THEY ARE. I LOVE HIS TUMMY HOW ALL HIS FRIENDS HAVE SIX PACKS BUT HE DOESNT AND ITS SO CUTE. I LOVE HIS EYES HOW THEY CRINKLE UP WHEN HE LAUGHS. I LOVE HIS WALK, ITS LIKE THE SEXIEST SHIT EVER. I LOVE HOW LOYAL HE IS TO HIS FRIENDS. I LOVE HOW HES HIS OWN PERSON. I LOVE HOW TALL HE IS. I LOVE HIS SOUL. I LOVE HIS LAUGH. I LOVE HOW HE WEARS THE SAME TWO SHIRTS TO SCHOOL ALMOST EVERYDAY SO ITS EASY TO GUESS WHAT HED WEAR ONE DAY. I LOVE HIS TEETH. I LOVE HIS SMILE. I FUCKING LOVE HIS HAIR. I FUCKING LOVE HIS HEAD HIS BRAIN HIS DREAMS OF WHAT HE WANTS TO ACCOMPLISH IN LIFE. I LOVE HIM EVERY FUCKING ATOM IN MY SHIT ASS BODY IS ALL FOR HIM. I MISS HIM WITH EVER MILLIMETER OF MY EXISTENCE I MISS HIM I MISS HIM I FUCKING LOVE HIM.
but he could care less.
so anyways the real reason that I wanted to update is because I'm starting a new book that kinda will go a long with this one it's called "lovesick" and oh hey yeah it's about being in love!1!!11!!!2!1! It's basically quotes, and relatable ranting and updates on my love life and help with yours like a mini society of teens with the same issues as each other.
