hi guys it's been awhile but I honestly feel like I got nobody to talk to so here I am. :(:
idk. have you ever had that one person come into your life and you feel like "yes okay I'm going to be okay"
in the past week i have confessed my feelings for a girl I really like, and she liked me back. It was the first time someone I genuinely liked, liked me back.
I don't know the whole fucking world seemed brighter and happier and I loved our little texts we sent back and fourth. she knows how to make my heart flutter.
and then yesterday. after school we started texting and she confessed to me her stronger feelings for her best friend. I'm not gonna lie it did hurt. I've liked this girl for awhile now and i guess it upset me that she lead me on and then left. But I mean I understand, you honestly can't control your feelings. It's not her fault she likes her friend, so I can't blame it on her. Some of my friends say I'm being a push over but I can't find the capability to be mad at someone for something not worth getting mad over. But I guess in a way I am mad just not to that extent? I'm mad because after that it really proved to me how muchhh I like her. So I went stalking her account on Instagram and she posted something about getting a hickey and blah blah blah I wen into the comments and I think I found the girl she likes?? She confessed her feelings to her and it pissed me off how incredibly jealous I got. I literally couldn't sleep last night, I couldn't focus on school. I could only focus on the little time we had where we would tell each other how adorable we were together and how we made a ship name for us and really thought it was going to go long term, and that's exactly opposite from what happened now it makes me kinda sad that all of that is probably being done between them. Though I know I cannot do anything and that makes me more mad. And you know what I told her when she confessed those feelings to me, I told her to go for it. I know that's what I'd like to be told if I were in that situation even though I didn't want to let go of her I did. And I'm sad. This always happens to me no matter who I like... a boy, a girl, a dog, a baby.
I'm always the one chasing after them when they've already left.
