hey guys.
I've been so overwhelmed lately, school is really taking a toll. since the beginning of this year I've had three mental break downs. today was by far my worst.
so this year I was requested to go into all advance level classes, last year the only non-advance leveled class was mathematics. and since last year the board of education for florida threw out our old standard and the new one is called "rigger" where the pace of learning is bumped up by so much.
last year the school didn't know about the new standards that'll be applied for this year so they didn't prepare us. worst thing ever. last year by now we would have still been in module 1 four weeks after the first day, now we are in module 4. I've been assigned over 143 pages to read for my history classes. and every single test besides my languages arts ones, I failed.
so in my math class I got a bad grade on my first test and it dropped my grade to a c. then the next day she announced two more tests in three days. SHE DOESNT TEACH JACK SHIT. like when I say she doesn't teach shit she doesn't teach shit she doesn't teach shit. the hour I have her is the hour I go to lunch so halfway through class we go to lunch. and when we come back we have to take the tests in under twenty minutes and whatever we don't finish we wouldn't be able to make up. DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARDDD THAT TEST WAS HOOW FUCKING MUCH I STUDIED AND HOW HARD THAT FUCKING TEST WAS OH AND TIME WASNT HELPING. yep so I didn't finish like half of it mY GRADE IS GOING TO BE SOOO FUCKING BAD. after class I literally broke down crying because my parents care so much about grades and my grade report comes back on Wednesday so I have no fucking idea what to do. It's so mentally exhausting this fucking year has already drained my energy. It's too much like you know the feeling when you're so overwhelmed you feel helpless? I just want to shrivel up in a ball and cry for hours. I hate everything and everyone. I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna do no matter how much time I commit my mind to schoolwork and studies I fail and it makes me feel like I'm no good. I feel fucking worthless.
