I've done a ton of research on everything I've been feeling through tons of different sources and narrowed it down to two things.
Bipolar Disorder. Some of my symptoms really go hand in hand with the disorder, it explains a lot of the reasoning behind my drastic changes in moods.
Boarderline personality disorder (BPD). This disorder actually explains A LOT MORE of my symptoms which scares me. It explains my eating habits in which I either eat a shit ton or barely at all. It explains my mood swings and how severe they can get like how fucking angry I become out of no where and I say things so out of line in which I don't think about until after I do. It explains how I've distanced myself from other people, my feelings of detachment and chronic feeling of emptiness.
I know self diagnosis' are likely to be wrong, but like I said I'm the kind of person that won't sleep until I find a suitable answer to something that has been bothering me. I'm planning on discussing this with a doctor or someone I just need to do something these feelings are unbearable. I've lost a a lot of people from how disconnected I get and I've gotten into a lot of trouble for my raged outbursts towards my parents and teachers. The void of emptiness drives me mad, IVE TRIED EVERYTHING TO PREOCCUPY MY BODY AND MIND BUT NOTHING CHANGES THE FACT THAT I FEEL I HAVE LOST A PART OF ME.
