Hi guys. Just remember I'm here if you need to talk to someone. I've gone through a lot and I will listen. This next chapter is about cutting and self-harm.
READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.
(Some might trigger you idk...)
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When you cut,
The skin around it puffs, like red wine
The blood beads up, perfectly in a crimson dotted line.
It tingles and burns at first
But then it feels good, so that's only the worse.
Your body is in pain, but your mind is at ease.
It feels so good and your mind asks for one more cut please.
One turns to two and two to four.
At this point you just keep cutting more.
There's no stopping yourself from the warm ness flowing through.
Everyone else is happy,so why can't you be too?
The blood starts to drip, and roll down your skin
And a smile appears on your lips from within when you cut.
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Anorexia, isn't just skipping one meal.
Bulimia, isn't just making yourself puke every once in a while.
Self injury, isn't just taking a razor to your skin after he breaks up with you (again)
Drug addiction, isn't trying it once.
Insomnia, isn't not sleeping for two nights.
Schizophrenia, isn't just seeing things when you're high.
MPD, isn't acting like someone your not because your upset.
Depression, isn't just feeling low for a week.
Anxiety, isn't just being nervous when you have a test.
It's more.
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Mom: you never do anything for me!
Me: I fake a smile, I hide my problems from you to avoid you getting stressed. I cover my scars, I don't talk to you so you don't have to put up with me, and I pretend to be mentally stable.
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No one really care until something dramatic happens.
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Ripped apart limb by limb, shattering bones, heart caving in.
Self mutilation, scar after scar.
Empty and hollow,
Worn like tar.
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"People have scars. In all sorts of unexpected places. Like secret roadmaps of their personal histories. Diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don't. Some wounds we carry with us everywhere and though the cuts long gone, the pain still lingers"
- Grey's Anatomy
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If self harm was for attention, we'd do it in front of your face.
We wouldn't barricade out bedroom door, lock the bathroom door, cover it with long sleeves, do it places no one will think of looking, look so ashamed when your asked to see it, be so socially aware of ourselves, be laughing one second then silent the next, keep everything from you if it was for
'Attention'
It just so happens you found out. Probably by accident, don't get involved.
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I always think people are making fun of me.
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Under my clothes are my battle wounds from the war in my head. I hide then from you all.
