Love You To The Stars| JEGULUS

Chapter 3: The Thought Of Him

TW: A small kiss. That's it!

James POV:

  James found himself walking around the common room. It was a Saturday morning, and he should be at practice, but decided to skip. Sirius had come to check if he was okay, dramatically to say the least, before going to practice.

  All this nervous pacing got James thinking (never a good sign). Do I like Regulus or do I just like the thought of him? He had been pondering this for a bit recently. Trying to make sense of it, trying to find the answer. To be completely honest, James never really got to know Regulus that well. What if he is just a front, all looks, no heart. He thought. 

  About thirty minutes later, James drew a conclusion. He would see if he was gay. Now how to do this was a problem. He wasn't so fond of the idea of asking either Remus or Sirius about it, or even Peter. He also wasn't fond of the fact that Regulus was even in the picture!

  James sat on the edge of his bed, collapsing on the corner. Sirius would be back soon, so maybe he could ask him. Remus and Peter were both out at the library, doing god knows what, probably an assignment that's not due for another week. As he was thinking, he remembered that there was this boy named William. He was now in his fourth year, while James was in his fifth. He would ask him, though, he hasn't talked to him since the train; which was about two months ago. He had met him when William asked him on a trip to Hogsmeade; James had politely declined, but said they could be friends.

  James decided to go and find William. He bursted out of his dorm, into the crowded common room. He started surveying the room; looking for a head of brown curls. As he looked, he couldn't help but notice everyone staring, glaring, then looking away. What's up with that? He thought. What did I do?! He ignored it, but remembered to ask someone about it later. AHA! He thought. He saw the boy sitting on a couch, talking to some of his friends.

  As James headed over there, people parted a path. Not in a good way; in a 'get away from me' way. James got over there and William looked up at him.

  "Oh hey James!" He exclaimed, smiling.

  Okay, so he isn't mad at me. James thought.

  "Hey, William! I hope you don't mind, but could I pull you from your group real quick, I need to ask you a few things."

  "Oh, uhm, sure!" He said, looking at his friends, "I'll be right back."

  James and him walked out of the common room, to the courtyard. There, they sat on a bench under a tree. James exhaled and looked at William.

  "Okay I don't know how to go about this, but how did you know you were...eh...gay?" James stuttered out.

  "Oh! Uhm not what I was expecting, but I guess I knew I wasn't into girls. I never wanted to do anything with them. Like, it was just boys. I know that might not help." He stops and takes a small breath before starting again, "You also don't have to be gay. You can be bi. Or pan." He ended.

  "Pan? Isn't that like....bread in Spanish or something?" James asked.

  "MERLIN! Potter- have you no idea of what pan means?" He asked.

  "Uhm other than bread, no." James simply replied.

  "Oh, well it means that you don't have a preference of gender on who you date or like." He explained.

  "Oh, thanks William." James said, smiling a bit.

  "No worries! Call me Will!"

  "Okay- I don't know if I'm gay or not. Like, I've liked Lily but there has been this guy and- I don't know. I've been so confused! And this boy- I don't know him that much, but he is gorgeous! I just- I don't know." James said helplessly.