Love You To The Stars| JEGULUS

Chapter 17: A Small Fight

Tw: Small fight, that's it I think :)

Sorry if there are mistakes, I totally spell checked it...

Sirius (first person) POV:

Did I mean to snoop into James' room after each time Regulus would drop a letter off? Yes.

Yes all the way. After our little 'fight' yesterday, he and I haven't talked since. Now, instead of speaking to him, I just read the letters. It's better than talking to him. Plus, James doesn't really need them, or know about them. Maybe this will break them apart! Maybe, just maybe, if James thinks Regulus is ignoring him, then they will not like each other!

This is a brilliant plan. I just need to keep the letters secret. I thought about not reading them, but the need became too much. I needed to open one yesterday. So I did.

James,

Please don't hate me.

I can't tell you how much this kills me to even try to explain this. You see, after the little Sirius situation, him and I got into a small argument. Him and I aren't on the best of terms at the moment.

I really thought he was going to be happy for us. I try seeing it in his shoes, I really do. It's just that I'm so happy! I haven't been this happy in a while, and I don't want to lose this.

So this is my apology.

Please forgive me, my love.

I'm sorry but until Sirius and I have figured out where we are and what we are doing, I can't do much within the 'us' area.

It hurts, James. He said he hated me. I know he probably doesn't. Just like he doesn't think I'm a failure. Or a monster. How he probably doesn't think I'm a traitor or I should go back to them.

James, don't give up on me yet. Please.

Your Love,
Regulus Black

I had told him that, hadn't I? I told him how he wasn't wanted, how he was not worthy. I don't mean it, I really don't. The exact opposite, actually. I put him through pain. I hurt him. My little brother, who we just broke out of that hell. Shit. Now I'm collecting the letters to his one source of happiness.

The small pile of letters sits beside me, waiting to be open. I can't. It feels so wrong, but they can't be together. Something about them being together hurts. Not physically, but mentally. James is my best friend, while Regulus is my little brother. If they both go with each other, who will I have? Sure, Remus, but he is my love. James and Regulus are like family. Well, Reg is.

I need to talk to Regulus again. I can't bring myself to get out of bed. My face streaked with tears and my throat dry from all the cries. I can't find myself to talk to him, so I decide I need to write him a letter.

So I write. (I'll write my way outtt 🎵)

My lumière des étoiles,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry for how I have treated you. For how I've reacted. For my words. You must hate me. I would if I were you. It's funny how you live here now. It's funny how you like James. My best friend. I'll tell you I never did see it coming. How could I?

We need to talk, lumière des étoiles. Please.

The Garden at 7pm tonight?

Yours forever,
Nova

I exhale, getting up and placing it on Regulus' pillow. I walk downstairs, heading to the garden. I see James talking to Mum, so I smile and walk out the door. They smile and say a quick 'hi', before they get back to their conversation.