16: a make out with bert.

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day 388

"i fucking hate gerard. i hate his crooked teeth, i hate his stupid emo hair, i hate his awkward pinky, i hate that fucking splotch on his ugly nose, i hate the way he chews his gum aggressively, i hate the sound of his squeaky laugh, i hate the way he looks like an edge lord when he's smoking, i hate the way he ruined the song "there is a light that never goes out" by the smiths for me" i wrote in my notebook that was full of lyrics for my songs.

day 250

"yeah, we're already recording the album!" frank told me excitedly, as he sat down on my couch. i stood in front of him, leaning backwards on my counter as i ate a banana.

"well that's great! i'm happy for you guys" i mumbled out with my mouth full, looking into frank's eyes but then breaking the eye contact to look at gerard for a few seconds.

gee smiled softly at my words, but kept on styling his hair in the full length mirror i had.

"so... uh... is eliza coming?" i asked, hugging myself to try and calm down my nerves.

they had a performance that day, and they of course had to bring me with them.

"yeah" gerard said coldly, as i gulped nervously. i looked at frank, and he had an annoyed look plastered on his face.

"i'm sorry for asking gerard, but... what did you two... do... back at that... hotel?" i mumbled out shyly, as i watched his whole body tense up. he cleared his throat, still not looking at me.

"well... ya know" he said quickly, smirking slightly with his teeth.

fucking asshole.

"aren't you with y/n?" frank asked, and gerard scrunched his face.

"i don't like labels.." he mumbled under his nose angrily, finally turning around to look at me.

"i love you" he whispered into my ear, holding me by my waist.

i won't EVER. understand his stupid fucking behavior. one time he abuses me; then he apologizes; then he kisses me and tells me that he loves me, but then he says he doesn't want a relationship, cuz he "doesn't like labels"; yet he gets jealous over any man. even fucking bob who i don't really talk to other than when i'm backstage with the boys.

time skip

we were all sitting in their van after the concert, drinking alcohol and smoking weed. that dude bert was there, and of course... eliza was there too.

i stared sadly at gerard, who was all giggly and close to eliza, laughing about something as she hugged his arm loosely.

i sighed, staring down at the green bottle full of beer in my hands. i felt so stressed and empty at the same time, it was so fucking tiring.

"so.. you're y/n, huh?" bert suddenly said, wrapping his arm around my shoulder. i looked up at gerard with slightly raised eyebrows, thinking that he would be mad and jealous about bert. but he wasn't.

i cleared my throat, and finally looked at bert. "yeah. and you're bert?" i answered confidently as i took a sip of my beer.

he smirked with his teeth, taking a drag on his cigarette. "yup, the one and only" he smiled with his eyes narrowed, and i giggled in response.

"wanna go outside?" he asked, and i raised one of my eyebrows, smiling slightly.

"what for?" i questioned, smirking with my teeth as i did so. he looked down shyly, biting his bottom lip.

"i just wanna talk to you" he said, finally looking back into my eyes.

"fuck it" i thought, and i stood up with my beer, and started walking to the door. i turned around to look at bert, who was still on the couch, with his eyes widened and eyebrows raised.

"you coming, or not?" i said loudly, and he immediately ran up to me.

"sorry darling" his voice lingered in my ears, making shivers run down my spine.

we walked out, and stood in front of the van. he pushed me onto it, and put his hands on my hips.

he looked down at my lips, licking his own before looking back into my eyes. "you're so fucking hot" he whispered out, and i smirked, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

damn i'm such a whore.

"yeah?" i said attractively, as he gulped while nodding his head slowly.

"i just want to fuck you so bad..." he said, and i blushed a little, before carressing his arm slowly and gently.

fuck it.

i grabbed him by the collar of his tshirt, and kissed him aggressively. we started full on making out, moaning and exchanging saliva from now and then.

when suddenly someone interrupted us.

"hey- uh.." mikey said, as he fixed his glasses. "well i did NOT expect to see that" he laughed out, before closing the door and going back in the van.

we stared at each other at the same time and broke into laughter.

"why don't we go to my car, huh sweetheart?" he asked, gripping my hips tighter than before.

"sure" i smirked and narrowed my eyes, as he grabbed my hand.

"good" he said, before he turned around and dragged me to his car.

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