26: the end of our friendship.

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day 459

i didn't leave my room at all for almost two weeks, all i did was rot in my bed and cry all day. i didn't even have a proper meal since like... a month or so. all i ate was pizza that i kept on ordering, and some instant noodles that i had laying around in my house.

i decided that i've had enough of living like this, and that i had to leave my house. so i grabbed my keys and left my house, walking to a walmart that was a few meters away.

i walked inside, feeling a knot forming in my stomach all of a sudden. dunno why, i just felt weirdly stressed and nervous about being in a store.

i felt like everyone was looking at me, even though that wasn't true. i kept my head down as i walked to an aisle with snacks.

i looked at all of my favorite ones, deciding which one to buy, when suddenly someone stood right next to me. i didn't really care, and i didn't even look up.

but suddenly the person spoke to me.

"y/n!" i heard the familiar voice say, making me look up at the person. i slightly widened my eyes and raised my eyebrows, feeling more tensed up. it was bert.

"hey bert..." i said quietly, brushing a strand of my hair behind my ear as he smiled brightly with his teeth, putting his hands in the pockets of his tight jeans.

"damn i haven't seen you in a while. how are you?" i gulped, looking down for a few seconds, very quickly thinking if i should tell him the truth.

i sighed, looking back at him as i forced a smile on my face. "i'm great, how are you?"

"awesome man! i'm on tour with my chem, and it's been so fun so far" he smiled even wider, expressing a lot of joy. i nodded, smiling a bit more too.

"that's good to hear" i said, as an awkward silence filled the air.

"hey uh... you've got any plans for tonight?" he asked, earning a quick 'no' from me.

"wanna come party with us?" he asked, squinting his eyes a bit.

"i... i don't know dude..." i said, feeling even more nervous at the thought that i would see gerard.

"awh, come on y/n! don't be a pussy. it's gonna be so fucking fun!" he leaned in a little, trying his best to convince me. i hugged myself to calm my nerves, but it didn't help.

"i'm sorry bert, i really don't want to" i said sadly, earning an annoyed groan from him.

"whatever man" he shrugged, putting his hands up in the air in defense. he sighed, taking a quick glance at the snacks before looking back at me.

"well, see ya around then" he said with a blank expression on his face, as i nodded slightly with a smile.

"yeah... see ya" and with that he walked away. i sighed in relief.

"coming here was definitely a bad fucking idea" i thought, and quickly grabbed a snack and stole it.

a rush of adrenaline filled my body, making me finally feel something else than stress and sadness, and it was honestly nice, i finally felt like a real person again.

i left the store, trying my best not to act suspicious as i walked to my house slowly, staring at the sky. i felt so empty inside, it was crazy.

day 460

i was sitting on my couch, watching some show on the tv when suddenly my phone rang. i opened it, staring at the screen nervously as i read the name displayed on it. it was gerard.

i immediately picked it up, not thinking twice about it.

"hey y/n" i heard his raspy but soothing voice, and it made my insides tingle a bit.

"h-hey..." i said, my voice shaking a little because of my nervousness.

"listen. i think it's... i think it's pointless" he said, sounding pretty much emotionless.

i felt a little pain in my chest for a few seconds, getting a bit more nervous. "h-huh?.. what are you talking about? what is pointless?"

"our friendship or whatever the fuck this is." he said angrily, as a bigger, far more worse pain filled my whole entire chest. it was like everything around me just shattered and my heart broke into little pieces.

i freezed in place, as i couldn't say a single word. i just sat there with my mouth open, as my tear ducts became watery and my vision got blurry. "wh..well what do you mean?"

"i mean that it's better off if we just... leave it behind. i don't want to be friends anymore, and i don't want to keep on thinking about you. just... forget about me... stop calling me... and i swear i will forget about you. i won't bother you anymore."

"please... don't do this to me..." my voice broke, and i started sobbing like crazy.

"i'm sorry y/n." he sighed, hanging up.

i tried to call him like 20 times, but he never picked up. then also at some point near 15, he turned his phone off, making it impossible for me to reach him. yet i still tried.

A/N: this chapter's kinda short, huh?

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