21: slight betrayal.

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day 365

i left gerard's house an hour after our intercourse, my heart still beating faster as i walked down the street, staring at the pitch black sky. my cheeks blushed as everything slowly replayed in my mind, making me go crazy with each second passing.

i wanted to cuddle with him right now, i don't know why i left, i could've stayed with him for the night and i could've slept with him.

as i reached my house, i started digging in my leather jacket, trying to find the key to my front door. once my hand brushed up against what seemed to be the key, i took it out, walking up closer to the door. i unlocked it, entering the warm place, breathing in the smell of fresh clothing.

i put the gift that gee gave me down on the floor, and took off my boots, leaving them beside the door. i locked it and took the gift back into my hands as i walked with it to my living room. i looked at it from every side, yet i still couldn't figure out what it was.

i impatiently unwrapped it, my mouth opening slightly as i looked at the gift in my hands with amazement. he gave me my chem's new album on a cd, and the other one too, since i didn't have it yet.

i smiled, staring at the three cheers one. i was one of the first people who had the album in hands. my gaze averted to the other one, eyeing the tracklist.

i took my phone out as i put the cd's aside, searching for gerard in my messages.

thank you for the gift <3
i love you x

i smiled, hoping to god i don't come off as a clingy person since i text and call him so often.

glad you like it xoxo

i grinned even more, feeling my ears burning at the text he sent me. i closed my phone and went straight to my messy bedroom with the cd's in my hand.

i walked over to my cd player, putting in the bullets cd in. i looked at the tracklist one more time, eyeing all the titles and searching for something that sounded cool. that's when i saw early sunsets. i quickly played the song, listening to it on my bed as i took out a cigarette.

the song was cheerful at first, it sounded like a cute love song that you would listen to on the roof of a building, watching the sunset with your lover as you held hands.

but then in the middle it changed drastically, the whole vibe of it becoming different and it made my heart beat a bit faster. as i took another drag on my cigarette, I couldn't help but slightly frown at the song. it made me feel things i never felt before through music, it made me actually feel sad.

it wasn't just a normal song to me, i felt a deep connection right there and then. i closed my eyes, as gee started to shout, his voice breaking in a beautiful and emotional way.

the song soon came to an end, and i felt so empty inside. like someone just broke my heart. i sighed, and then i decided to listen to the whole album from the start to the end.

the whole album was a fucking 10/10 with no doubts, it was one of the best albums i've ever heard. i then took a look at the new album, eyeing the cover yet again. i stared at the photo on the back, mesmerized by how good gerard looked in it. then my eyes slightly went lower, and i noticed the credits.

my stomach slightly hurt as i noticed that i wasn't mentioned on there. see, normally i wouldn't really care, but i seriously helped them a lot. not only with the lyrics, but the guitars and sometimes even the melodies of gee's singing. it's not that deep, i know. but in that moment i did feel... bad. i felt betrayed.

my bottom lip trembled as i reached out for my phone, deciding to call frank first instead of gerard. i thought that i could piss gerard off too hard, and that he would do something dumb again.

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