27: a job at cartoon network.

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day 483

i thought that i could never ever  recover from gerard breaking my heart, all i did was sit in my room and cry all day. at some point amanda and nina came to my house to take care of me for a few weeks. they stayed in my living room and they also slept there, just to make sure i ate well and that i got better.

but nothing was working. i didn't eat anything for 3 days, yet i vomited like crazy. i guess it was from hunger.

i was sitting on my bed, texting my friend, when suddenly amanda bursted into my room. "alright y/n, i've had enough of this. get dressed, we're going to the mall. and we also need to find you a job girl, you can't just live off of your parents money"

i stared at her emotionlessly, sighing sadly as she rolled her eyes. "come on, get ready. we'll be waiting outside"

she got out of my room and closed the door behind her, leaving me all alone in my messy room. i sighed again, closing my eyes as depressive thoughts filled my mind.

i was so fucking depressed that i couldn't even get up from my bed. something was just... stopping me. some sort of laziness, mixed with fear.

i finally got up from my bed after a few minutes, and put on some random dirty clothes from my floor. i didn't even bother to put on makeup or to brush my stupid hair. i looked horrible.

once i was done i left my room, noticing that amanda and nina really were waiting for me outside.

i left the house, walking towards the girls awkwardly as i squinted my eyes because of the stupid sun.

"you're ready?" nina asked, hugging me tightly as i sighed, feeling an ache in my chest and stomach.

"yeah..." i said quietly, looking down at my feet as she smiled at me.

"i'm proud of you y/n" she said softly, carressing my shoulder as she did so.

i looked at her in confusion, slightly furrowing my eyebrows. "why's that?"

"well... you know. you finally left your room... and your house as well" my chest hurt a bit more as her words hit me straight in my face. wow. i really got so depressed that people were proud of me leaving my room.

i smiled weakly, looking down again. "yeah... i guess i'm proud of myself too"

"come on guys, let's go" amanda said, walking away as she slowly made her way to the mall. we quickly followed her, matching her speed of walking.

after a while we were at the mall, and we went to some cafe first. i drank coffee for the first time in like two months, and it felt so fucking good. i missed it, i really did.

once we were done drinking our coffee, we went to hot topic and bought some cool punk accessories, and i also got a nirvana tshirt.

we then proceeded to just walk around different stores, just exploring them and stuff, when suddenly a boy walked past me, brushing my shoulder aggressively which made me stumble backwards and fall down straight on my ass.

"ouch" i said angrily, looking up at the dude. he stood in place, staring at me kinda emotionlessly.

he had longer black hair with a side fringe, very pale skin like a porcelain doll, big blue eyes and small lips with a lip piercing on the right, he had baggy navy jeans on paired with a studded belt and some cool ass black tshirt with a white skull on it, a black zip up hoodie on top of it, and he also had checkered vans and a silver chain around his neck.

i stared at him, feeling a weird tingly sensation inside my body. "sorry..." he said softly, his voice high pitched and soft like some sort of fucking angel.

i gulped, shaking my head softly as i muttered out a "it's alright", as he turned around and walked away quickly.

damn.

"god he was so fucking hot!" amanda said while she helped me stand back up, as i still stared at the guy walking out the door to the store.

time skip

after some time we got back home, and went online to search for a job for me. nothing was working out, i literally didn't want any of the jobs. they just... didn't feel right. i didn't wanna spend my time doing a job that i hated.

"come on y/n, just pick some stupid job already" nina rolled her eyes playfully as she punched my arm softly. i giggled a little, as something caught my eye.

"huh... what about this one?" i asked, pointing with my index finger on the screen of amanda's laptop.

"cartoon network? you wanna make cartoons?" amanda furrowed her eyebrows slightly, as i nodded shyly.

"y-yeah. i always wanted to make a cartoon or a comic..." i said, carressing my left arm. she nodded, raising her eyebrows.

"huh. well then, go for it. i believe in you" she smiled, and i smiled back.

so we wrote a job application for cartoon network, and a few more companies that were making popular cartoons.

"thanks guys..." i said shyly once we were done, as amanda put her laptop back where it was before.

day 487

the girls left my house two days ago because i got better, and now i was waiting for a response from any of the companies that i wrote a job application to.

i was walking around a park near my house, just to clear my mind and feel a bit better. i was getting better. gerard wasn't on my mind 24/7, and whenever someone mentioned his name, i didn't feel that stupid ache in my chest and stomach again.

i guess i got a bit more mature?

i took out a cigarette and lit it up, when suddenly i heard that someone else was in the park too. i heard a female giggle, so naturally, i looked up to see who it was and my heart skipped a beat.

it was gerard and eliza.

gerard's eyes met mine, as the smile on his face disappeared. he looked back at eliza, and then she looked at me.

"the fuck are you doing here?" she said angrily with her stupid squeaky voice.

"what does it look like shithead? i'm just walking" i rolled my eyes at her and walked past them aggressively.

i was so fucking proud of myself in that moment.

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