Don't Leave Me Here (boyxboy)

Chapter 30 part 1

Chapter 30 part 1

Matias

Matias wasn't sure what had come over him. It was like he got so lost in himself while staring into the mirror that nothing else felt real.

When Samuel had touched him— even if it was just a light tap on the shoulder—it felt like he was pulled from one universe into another. Like he was taken away from the universe where everything was fine and forced into another where he is a god forbidden villain who can't even show his face in public anymore.

His body had gone into defense mode. If Samuel tried to get closer, he would back up. If Samuel shifted or changed his stance, he would flinch and think he was about to be hurt. Every rational thought had left his head and there wasn't a single thought out emotion he was feeling.

Now both him and Samuel were sitting on the couch, not making a sound. Similarly to before, the TV was on but Matias wasn't paying it any attention.

His mind roamed from one thing to another, unable to settle. On one hand he was thinking of how close him and Samuel were sitting. Their hips were touching and Samuel had rested his hand on top of Matias's softly while his thumb rubbed back and forth. Matias honestly surprised himself being flustered in such an awful situation.

On the other hand, he felt bad for everything he had done to Samuel. Every look and reaction he had given that must've seemed rude or even fearful.

Multiple times he flinched back from Samuel. The entire time they were in the bathroom Matias was nothing but scared. And of Samuel? The guy to practically saved his life, even when they were enemies? How could he show fear to him after all he had done?

Matias felt an overwhelmingly strong urge to clarify that he isn't scared of Samuel. He never had been, and never will be.

"I wasn't freaking out because of you. It was completely unrelated" he spoke pointedly, though he wasn't actually sure what made him so stressed.

He worked up the courage to glance over at Samuel, who was giving a confused, yet considerate, look.

"Matias" he began, his voice so soft Matias felt tingles go up his spine, "I know that. Things have been hard, I can't really blame you for being shaken up"

Matias took a queasy breath. "Yeah" he paused, "but I shouldn't have taken that out on you"

Samuel shifted to face directly at Matias. Matias squeezed Samuels hand without even realizing it until Samuel squeezed back.

"You didn't" he spoke softly. "You were scared and you may have flinched back a little, but that's not "taking it out on me"" Samuel defended.

Matias honestly couldn't tell what was the truth and what was simply being said to make him feel better. Samuel was too good a person for him, he thought. He'd lie in order to protect Matias's feelings, but Matias always believed he was telling the truth.

"I mean it's-" Matias insisted, but was interrupted.

"No, Matias" Samuel interjected, his voice suddenly stern. "You were upset, and you were scared. I cant even begin to imagine what was going through your head, but I can guarantee that it wasn't your fault." He took a deep breath. "I'm not offended, or even really upset for that matter. And you shouldn't be either"

Matias watched as Samuel inhaled long and slow. His face softened back to regular and a comforting shine went into his eye.

Matias couldn't bring himself to respond, sure his voice wouldn't work anyways, but still nodded. He wasn't worried in the slightest what his own face may look like. He was too focused on Samuels.

Samuels hand squeezed a tad tighter into Matias's and Matias couldn't resist a small smile.

"I love you" he whispered.

Once he fully grasped what he said he leaned back slightly. The sweet and fluttery feeling left his body and was replaced by anxiousness and embarrassment.

Samuel, however, only leaned forward to fill the space and whispered back, "I love you too"

Matias's shoulders relaxed and his posture became less stiff.

He watched as Samuel got closer and closer until their lips softly collided. It was short, but still left the two of them starstruck.

They stared into one another eyes, Matias feeling like he never imagined he would.

He wasn't sure why he was still so nervous with Samuel. Every time they touched it was like the first time. Each day they woke up beside the other was like a new shock.

He was always worried Samuel would show some kind of disapproval. But he never did.

"It's late. We should get some sleep" Samuel mumbled, his eyes still locked onto Matias's.

Matias just barely managed to pull his gaze away from Samuels to look both out the window and at the clock.

The window was completely black, not a single light in sight. The clock presented 11:47.

Matias nodded, silently agreeing. He shrank down on the couch, relaxing his back, when Samuel stood.

"You're not seriously going to sleep on the couch, are you?" Samuel asked like the answer would be obvious.

"Uh" Matias mumbled, glancing down at the couch. He didn't see a problem with it.

Samuel let out a dry laugh. "That couch has been killing my back. You've got to be hurting too"

Matias couldn't help but laugh. The couch was extremely painful. He had woken up with a terribly stiff back and wasn't exactly in favor of doing it again.

"Come on" Samuel sighed contemptibly. "I have a king sized bed. Plenty of room"

He turned and made his way to the bedroom, leaving Matias alone on the couch. Surely that was a joke, right? Surely Samuel wasn't actually inviting him to sleep in his bed together.

"Matias?" Samuel called from within the room.

"Coming" Matias responded, immediately questioning his response.

He could hear his heart beating in his ears and his legs felt wobbly as he stood. The walk to the bedroom seemed overwhelmingly long, though it was only about ten steps.

He silently shamed himself for his teenage-like reaction.

When he entered Samuel was already getting himself situated under the covers on the left side of the bed.

Matias did his best not to seem too hesitant, but the stalling of turning the lights out didn't buy him much time. He undoubtedly took longer than he should've to approach the bed.

The process of climbing under the covers seemed much more clumsy, his limbs not working with him in the slightest.

As much as he wanted to lay by Samuel, he stayed on his respective side of the bed. He glanced over to steal one last look at him, but his eyes hadn't yet adjusted to the dark and wasn't able to see anything.

Matias's heart almost leaped out of his chest when Samuels finger brushed his hand. He was sure he wouldn't be getting much sleep.

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Happy Valentines Day!!