Keep Your Enemies Closer

A Secret of Ruin and Exposure

"Beauty is in the heart of the beholder." — H. G. Wells

Although Donovan had promised not to tell anyone and likely expected the same of her, Reyna wasn't keeping to that presumption. Which was why Reyna had asked Juniper to see Fabian this morning and ask if he would come see her in her room. Reyna had been pacing for the last ten minutes in anticipation, sorting through what to say to him that wouldn't be catastrophic for her in the aftermath.

It was now or never for her to come clean about her intentions once and for all no matter how he may react to the fact she was a liar and a fake. When the knock finally sounded at the door, Reyna flinched, almost falling over the skirts of her dress. "Coming," she called, sounding shakier than she intended. Her hands were shaking too no matter how much she willed them to still. Her deepest, darkest secret being exposed by no one but herself. Reyna finally mustered enough courage to open the door, revealing Fabian's wicked smile that sent a shard of pain right through her. "Reyna." He greeted as he stepped in, all swagger. He turned towards her, hands in his pockets as he purred, "you wanted to speak to me?"

Reyna almost groaned. He thought she had asked him for - never mind. "Yes." She said hastily, steering him towards the bed. When she caught the expression on his face she added, "not that." At his frown, she amended, "not now," as they sat on the bed. It was silent for a moment and Reyna bit her lip. "So what do you want to talk about? I see you at training later." Fabian started, giving her a curious look. Reyna took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh. Okay." Fabian shifted, sensing it was something important. As she was about to speak, his eyes drifted down to her hand and found the ring. "He proposed." The words were little more than a rasp. "Yes." Reyna admitted, toying with the ring. Fabian's throat bobbed, his eyes unable to leave the piece of jewellery. "I'm happy for you two." He congratulated though there was no warmth in his voice. "Can I stop you right there?" She shook her head. "I'm not marrying him." 

Fabian's eyes widened, gesturing to the ring. "What do you mean?"

Here we go. Reyna cleared her throat - how was she to start her story from leaving her house to Brunagh, to here? "I'm not who you think I am."

 Fabian's brows rose in surprise but he said nothing. Waiting for her to continue. "You know me as Reyna Aldine," she continued. "Some know me better as the girl who went missing in Deidre. Simply vanished into the night." Fabian gaped at her and she could practically see the thoughts that whirled in his brain. "Go on." He said, voice hoarse. Like he knew what was coming. His expression made saying this harder. She could stop here and not see his face filled with betrayal and heart break. It would be too easy but Reyna forced herself to continue. "I ventured into the forests of Valbara." Fabian's skin had gone pale now. "I killed a familiar and they made a deal with me." His head was in his hands, grasping at his hair. Reyna's voice shook as she pressed on. "I was ugly." Her voice broke on the last word and he dared to look up to take her in. To confirm she definitely was not ugly.

"I didn't want to be," she whispered. "They forced me into a choice. I broke one of their sacred laws, outsider or no. They said..." her eyes began to well up and she squeezed her eyes shut. "Reyna..." Fabian murmured. A warning but she couldn't stop. "To kill the Prince whose father had wronged them from the same crime I committed. Once he fell in love with me. My life would be spared. They would make me beautiful. It was the only thing I had ever wanted." She was crying now, unable to stop the tears that poured down her cheeks. "I heard he was an awful man and I wanted him to be but...he wasn't. I tried to convince myself I didn't have a choice." She wiped her eyes furiously. "But I do, I always did." 

"You're going to kill him." The sentence was guttural, like it was ripped from the most primal parts of himself. Fabian's eyes were darker than she'd ever seen them. "No, of course I'm not-" he interrupted her, "is that what you're trying to tell me? You've killed my future King and best friend?" His shoulders shook as he removed his hands from his face. "He doesn't always make good decisions but he doesn't deserve this." He spat. "To be a pawn." And when he looked at her, his eyes were full of hatred that made her flinch at the intensity. "You're not listening." She hissed. "He's not dead and I will not be killing him." She threw her hands up and stood, shaking. "That's what I'm trying to tell you!" 

"You would give up your own life?" He let out a disbelieving laugh. "For him?" 

The words wouldn't come out. No, she would not give up her own life for his. "I'm going to run." She replied flatly. "Where they can't find me." 

"And if they do?"

"Then it's bye bye Reyna, nice knowing you." 

Fabian was silent, rubbed his face. "I was not expecting this." He let out another laugh that was anything but amused. "I...can't even. You had me fooled. You lied to me this entire time." Something seemed to click in his head and his eyes snapped to hers. "Lessons on being an assassin?" He seethed. "That's what?"

"It was stupid." She fired back. "And I regret every moment since I ran into that forest. Every. One." She glared at him, letting him see it was true. "I am sorry for all of it." She swallowed. "The only thing I'm not sorry for is you." For a moment, his eyes seemed to soften but with a blink it was gone. "I don't know what to think right now." Fabian breathed. "Are you leaving today?"

"No. I have to sort everything out first. Where I am going to go, how to get away, say good bye..." She paused, thinking. "Two days." The words hung in the air between them. Outside she could hear birdsong and laughter and everything inside her ached to run to it and leave this conversation behind. "Is this your goodbye to me?" He asked, the question holding so much and so little. "Do you want it to be?" Reyna replied and Fabian was silent.

"I love you, you know." He said hoarsely. "It wasn't from the first time I saw you despite how beautiful you are. Sorry to disappoint." He took a deep breath. "I fell in love with your smile, your wit, your laugh, your humour, you. You could have tried breaking in being the ugliest person in the world and I wouldn't have cared." Tears were streaming down Reyna's face now. "I fell in love with your heart, Reyna. Not your bone structure or skin texture or body shape. Because that's all it is." He croaked out a laugh. "It never mattered." His voice quieted. "But you lied to me. You plotted murder the whole time I knew you. I trained you for it. You're my enemy, aren't you? You were going to kill a Prince on behalf of our enemies, after all."

Reyna couldn't speak. What he had said hit her like nothing ever had. That beauty didn't matter. She refrained from screaming - of course it does! As she shook with silent tears. She hadn't thought how Fabian was a sergeant and sworn to the crown. He could kill her right now and it would be duty. It would be just, honest, fair penance. "But I'm not killing you. I hate - hate that I can't," Fabian groaned. "I shouldn't still love you. But I know you - I thought I did - you were desperate." His eyes searched hers for confirmation and found the sadness buried there. 

"Tegan." She hated how she sounded. So broken. "I knew her. She..." the words wouldn't come out. She..." she tried a few times but the words got stuck in her throat but Fabian seemed to understand. "She did this?" His face was pure wrath. "She made you feel like you needed to change."

Reyna nodded and Fabian sighed deeply. "I never liked her." He stole a glance towards her, to her red rimmed eyes and tear stained cheeks. "I need to think right now." Fabian said slowly, standing up. "I don't want to make any rash choices I'll regret." His eyes flickered towards her, the rash decision she had made. He swallowed as he headed for the door, lingering on the handle before finally leaving without a second glance. Her eyes stung as she fell onto the bed. He knew and now he would never look at her the same again. In three days she would leave this damned place and never return if she wasn't executed in the meantime. To a new life with her mask cracked and true face returned.