I will never be skinny. I will always be this way. Curvy.
Amelia was never skinny. even as a little girl she was always on the bigger side. her mom and sisters hate her because she is curvy, or to the fat. But to Amelia and her father she is the ef...
Yall miss me? I can't believe it's been so long since I have touched this book. I have such a deep love for this story. But life got so much in the way and I lost myself a lot. But I'm learning that even if you loose yourself you can still find a way to find yourself again.
Life lesson: life goes on. No matter how many times you might think you have reached rock bottom, you can still get back up and start again.
Now, anyone here still wanna keep reading? Fingers crossed 🤞🏿 that you do.
Ok yall, let's hop back into it. Again, fingers crossed I still go it. lol.
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You ever share a piece of your life story that you swore you would never bring up again, and it helps you feel better in the end? That's how I felt waking up this morning.
Andrew ended up staying in my room last night, and we cuddled up in my bed with my dogs and let me tell you, I feel so much at peace. I really like Andrew. He really sees me for me. He doesn't see the broken girl that I am, but the strong woman that I am and can be. Maybe I'm getting in over my head with him, but I'm starting to see that I want to be with him. He makes me happy.
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Ring ring
Looking at my phone i see it's 9:45 in the morning and Marissa is calling me. Normally she knows better than to call me before 11 am if I don't have to work. So it had better be good.
"Amelia!! Get up and get dressed. We are going to brunch." M was yelling thru the phone.
"Baby, tell whoever is on the phone we are still in bed and not coming out for a while." Andrew mumbled while cuddling in deeper to my side. "Marissa, please stop yelling. I'm still in bed. And I don't feel ready to go out into public yet. I haven't been home from the hospital even 3 days yet. I still hurt and just need to heal." I told her. It hurt me that I had to tell her, because I really did want to go out. But I just wasn't ready yet. I still have so many bandages all over my body.
"Oh you're right. I'm sorry, it's selfish of me to ask you that so soon. I just really miss you. But how about I bring dinner over later. I can bring Abby and Kyle with me as well. We can have a quiet night in and just cuddle up on the couch and watch 'Bridget Jones Diary and The Notebook'." Damn, how was I gonna get out of this one. I wanted to see her since u haven't since she came to see me in the hospital.
Before I could even answer I could feel my phone being gently taken out of my hand. I gave Andrew a questionable look as he put it to his ear.
"Morning Marissa. How are you?. Good good. Listen, I know you want to come hang out with Amelia, but she needs time to rest and adjust back to life for a little bit. She's been thru a lot over the last week and she need to heal up more. I know you love her, she's your best friend. I know. I know. She's grateful to have you in her life. Just give her a couple more days and then you can come by. I promise. Yes ma'am. I will give her that hug and kiss. You have a good day and be safe. Bye." Huh?! Andrew had a full on conversation with M for me?
"Babe..." "Don't babe me Amelia. You need time to heal and to adjust back to yourself. I know you love your friends. But you need time to yourself. Well as much as being by yourself plus me and the dogs. Now, put something on the tv. I'm gonna make you breakfast." Andrew leaned over and gave me a small kiss on the nose and then slowly got out of bed.
" You gonna be ok?" he quietly asked me as he put in a shirt. I gave him a small smile. I know what hens thinking, last time he left me like this I started to selfharm myself. It wasn't on porous. Ut had been so long since I had done it on purpose.
I never told anyone, but I used to cut as a teenager. I started after the whole thing with Mark, I used it to help with the pain and to find a release from what life was at the moment. It sad that i was willing to hurt myself just to get some peace but not knowing i was hurting myself in a different way.
"Yeah, i'm gonna read my book on my phone after my shower. I promise if i start to feel anything different i will let you know right away. I know your scared. And i am a little bit too. It's been a long time since i got this low about myself. But, i promise i won't hold my feelings in." I told him quietly and he smiled and nodded. I blew him a kiss as he walked out the room.
Slowing getting out of bed i did my morning stretches and got my blood moving and then i walked into Andrew's bathroom. walking back in here by myself honestly scared me a little. I could still smell the light lingering smell of bleach that Andrew used to clean all the blood up with. The mirror i had broke was not replace yet and there was still holes in the wall. It was hard to swallow and to look at. I walked closer to the wall where the mirror was on and you could see small drops of blood on the wall.
I did't realize i was crying until i felt a tear drop on my hand. As I went to wipe my tears i could feel Andrew walking up behind me. I didn't think anything of it but to just turn around and look at him. And God bless him because all he did was move the hair that was falling in my face away and gather me up in to his warm embrace.
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"Shhhh, don't cry baby. I got you. Breathe. Just one day at a time. I know it's hard but you're gonna be ok." He whispered at me as i cried into his shoulder. He literally is the best thing that could of happened.
" I know I'm not gonna feel like this forever, but the right now doesn't feel good." I whispered and he just hugged me closer to him and let me cry.
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Well, there you have it folks. How was it? I know it wasn't overly long but it was just a heart felt filler chapter. But i'm already working on the next chapter. Whoop Whoop!
