For The Love Of A Curvy Girl

Laying it all out there!

Hey hey hey!!!

Back at it again with another chapter bbbbbbaaaaabbbbbyyyyyy!!!!!

Shall we get right to it?

TRIGGER WARNING!!!!!!!!! Please read at your own risk. You have been warned.

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"Tell me why your family is so rude to you and acts like they hate you." Those 15 words that he spoke made me gasp for breath and freeze. It was finally happening. He asked why they hate me.

'Breathe Amelia'. I mentally had to tell myself. But it wasn't working. My great started to race. Including think straight. This wasn't what I wanted to get into tonight.

"Breathe baby, breathe" I could hear Andrew saying. But it was almost like it was coming from a distance. I could feel him next to me, but I couldn't reach him. In my mind I was freaking out and I didn't know what to do.

Why am I freaking out so bad. What is wrong with me. Why can't I be normal and not let things affect me so much. Why. Why. Why.

"Amelia, baby, please just calm down and breathe. It's ok. You don't have to answer." I could hear him soothing me and it was finally starting to seep in. I could feel myself starting to calm down.

Fucking anxiety. Always there when you don't want it.

"There you go babe. Just breathe. " He didn't sound so far away now. I couldn't actually hear him like I was sitting right next to me. Well he was now kneeling on the floor in front of me with me with my face in his hands. He was caressing me. It was calming me down. Helping me to focus. I needed it weirdly enough. Which was hard for me to admit. I hated depended on anyone. Expectations. I hate expectations.

"Sorry" I said back to him in a barely audible whisper. I had finally calmed down enough so I laid my head in his chest and listened to his heartbeat. For some reason it felt like it was a nice little lullaby playing me a sweet song.

"Baby, Amelia, listen to me. And listen well." he told me softly but firmly while moving my head slowly so i was looking him in the eyes.

"You. Have. Nothing. To. Be. Sorry. For." he said each word very firmly so that i would understand exactly what he was saying. But i shook my head no. He didn't understand. I had a lot to be sorry about.

"No, I do" I said quietly but firmly.

"Baby. No" I let out a hard but long sigh.

"I do. But it's not this I'm sorry about. It's a long story. You really want to know why? The whole story of my life?" I asked quietly and he just nodded his head.

"Really really. It's better to get it all out know while were both here. That way we can build the pieces of you back together piece by piece. But not just build them, but build them with a better and more solid foundation. " I took a really really deep breath.

Was I really ready to go down that memory lane? Was I really ready to bring up that part of my life that scarred me this bad. Was I really ready to open those wombs. It was such a part that I left hiddened and burred that it scared me to even look that way inside honestly.

"Stop it Amelia." I mentally yelled at myself. I can do this. I'm stronger than i like to think.

"ok, but just don't interrupt me. If i'm gonna get this out. I don't want to have to stop. I want to get it all out and then process and move on. I dont want to dwell on it too much. Ok?" I asked and he just nodded and i gave him one nod back and took deep breathe.

"I. Um. sigh. My mom and dad aren't my mom and dad. They are techichnelly my aunt and uncle. But they took me in and adopted me at a young age. I was 5. They were the sweetest to me. My biologial mom and dad were both drug addicts and I was taken away from them. I was gonna be placed in Foster care, but they both came forward and said that they wanted to adopt me instead. So I moved in with them and cousins who became my younger sister and older brother. Yep. I had an Older brother. His name was Mark. He was 8 years older than me. He was a very unique person to say the lease. At first, Mark to me, was the coolest. He always wanted to hang out with me. We did everything together. He taught me how to ride a bike, helped me learn how to read. He was my best friend. And Marks sister, was jealous of how close we were. She's always hated me. I think it's because when I moved in with them, our parents started to pay more attention to me and not her. I know for a fact she uses to do things that were not right and blame them on me so I would get in trouble. Well, fast forward a few years, I was 15 and Mark 23. He started to ask really funny around me. I would catch him staring at me all the time. He had walked in on me showering a few times and would just stare at me, I would literally have to yell for him to leave. And it was horrible because the lock on the bathroom door wouldn't lock. There would be times when I would find him hiding in my bedroom when he knew I was going to get changed. And I remember complaining to my parents about it, but they said that it was just in my head. That I was just making it all up. And I swear I wasn't. It was gross, I never wanted him to see me naked. He was my brother for goodness sakes.

"So this went in for a while, and no matter what I said my parents didn't believe me. Well, it was more like my mom wouldn't believe me. My dad kinda believed me, but my mom would always jump in and make an excuse or would say I was lying. Then one day, my dad was walking thru the hallway and saw mark trying to get in the bathroom on me as I was in the shower. My dad thru a fit and kicked my brothers ass. Needless to say, mark was kicked out and was not welcomed anymore. Which led to even more problems, because my mom was pissed. She was mad at my dad for kicking him out. But my dad didn't care, he stood his ground. And of course my dad apologized and I forgave him.  

Fast forward to my 16th birthday, my parents had thrown me a birthday party at the local skating rink, and I had all my friends and family come over and celebrate. I was outside on the phone with my dad, he had to go and grab something from the store. When someone came up behind me and grabbed me from the back and put a knife to my throat and dragged me to the back of the building. I was screaming and crying. I though I was gonna die. It was my brother. I don't remember all the details, but he tried to rape me. Can you believe that? And apparently I fought with him and I got my neck cut really bad, but I needed up stabbing him a few times and he ended up bleeding to death. And to this day, my mom and sister hate me. My dad, said it's good for him, because he disowned him as a son the minute he was kick out." Wow. That was a river of emotions to get off my chest. I never thought that I would be telling that story to anyone again.  It was a part of my life that I liked to keep locked up and hidden.

Andrew face was hard to read. While telling him the story his face held so many emotions in it. From sad to angry to hurt back to angry. He even had a read roll down his face at one point.

"Amelia-" he started but I cut him off.
"It's ok. It's in the past. But now you know why my mom and sister hate me. My mom and sister never have and never will forgive me. But there is nothing I can do about it." I said sadly and Andrew just wrapped me into his arms and held me.

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Alright y'all!
How do you think this was? I'm not sure if I actually like this chapter. I've been working on it for a while, but I just feel like it's a lot. But I'm not sure if it fits in the story line well. You know?

Sound off in the comments below what you think and if you like it.
Also, it's not edited. I will go back and do so. But I just wanted to post something for you all!

Love you all!!

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