I will never be skinny. I will always be this way. Curvy.
Amelia was never skinny. even as a little girl she was always on the bigger side. her mom and sisters hate her because she is curvy, or to the fat. But to Amelia and her father she is the ef...
Depression is not the easiest thing to deal with. It's been over a month since that incident in the bathroom. I thought that things would be easier to deal with, thought that i would be in a better mental place. Back at work and back to my normal swing of things. But life has a funny way of changing on you and not being the way that you want it to be.
In this month, I've gained 15 pounds. I cried my eyes out almost every day.I have not yet gone back to work., Things with Andrew are ok, but not great. He's good. But, I'm not. I feel like i'm not good enough for him at the moment. Things with Marissa and me are rough as well. I have yet to find my place and balance with my life again. My dogs have been staying at Andrews full time now because I'm having a hard time taking care of them and myself.
I'm starting to think that I might need more help that I thought. I signed up for therapy but have not gone yet. I barley leave my house anymore. If i'm not going to the store or checking my mail I just stay inside with all my blinds closed and write and read in my room. The idea of leaving my house makes me want to panic.
"Get off your ass and get dressed." I was so startled I dropped my book and yelled.
"Marissa, what the hell" I yelled at my best friend as she busted into my bedroom all red in the face.
"Don't 'Marissa what the hell me. I've had enough of you. I will no longer let you continue to sit and wallow in your depression and self pity party. Get up." She yelled while walking over to my windows and opening up all of my blinds in my bedroom.
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"What in the lords name is your deal?" I yelled out while i put my hands over my eyes trying not to be blinded by the bright sunshine.
"My deal is that i will not let my best friend suffer like this anymore." She says and then walks over to my closet and opens the door and starts looking thru it.
"Marissa, I don't know how many times i need to tell you this, but I am fine. I don't need you to come into my room guns blazing and trying to get me out of bed. I want to stay in my room where it is safe and read my book" I told her firmly and she just walked over to me and looked me dead in the eye's.
"Amelia, I love you.I love you so much. You my best friend. My sister. My rock. The peanut to my butter. The other half of my heart. You have been there for me when i needed you the most. You held and put me back together after my parent's died. Helped me with school. Let me cry when i went thru heartbreak. You the me when i can't be me.I love you more than words. And it hurts to see you so down and depressed. I hate that your hurting. And i can't keep letting you hurt alone. I need you. And you need me. So, as of today, we are going to, as evanescence says "wake me up inside and bring me back to life' .So get up and go take a shower. We are getting you dressed. Then we are going to put some makeup on you. Push those lovely tit's up. Put on a banging outfit. Get some lunch and then we are going to go the store and work a little bit then we are going out dancing. And by golly you are going to like it." By the end of her rant i again had tears running down my face. I can't believe how good of a friend she is.
