14 - risking it

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- Maddy -

I sat the canvas on the table with all the rest and walked back to my desk. "Okay. Well, thank you, Maddy for the presentation. I think that's also everyone that managed to finish the project today." I heard the teacher say yet i kept my head down, till this point not sharing a single glance with her today.

I felt stupid. Regretting every single thing i decided to do yesterday. What was i thinking?! What did i even expect to change after confessing that i like her?

"Mads." I felt the nudge on my shoulder, glancing up to see Ayden staring down confused. "The class is over. Let's go." He announced and i immediately packed up, following after him to the lockers.

"What is up with you today?"

"Nothing. I'm fine." I loaded the books inside, so relieved that all the classes are done for today. "You're so fucking quiet. Speak!" The harsh slam on my shoulder had me look at him.

"Would you just leave me be?! Not everything has to be talked about. I'm just tired, okay? Thank god it's friday, no way in hell i'm getting out of bed before 12 pm tomorrow."

"Alright. But like you mentioned, it's friday. Wanna chill together? I'll ask Linda and Lia to join. Can pop a bottle or two again."

"I'm good. Can't be drinking every weekend. Not so interested in that type of partying like you are." I shrugged any want for socializing. "Hey." A faint voice came from behind and i looked over my shoulder, Lia standing with a smile.

"Hi." I replied, closing the locker closed to face her. "Can we talk, maybe? This whole.. thing we got going on makes me question stuff."

"Go on. What do you want?" I pulled my backpack on, patiently waiting for her to speak. "Well maybe not here? People walking by, coming up."

"Lia, listen, there honestly isn't anything we can talk about! What if we kissed? Sure i remember that happening but not a single nerve inside me wants to experience it again. On every corner i hear the things you do or have done to people and i surely will not be apart of that." I spat right out, frustration taking the best of me.

"Mads! What the fuck has gone into you?!" I heard Ayden step in. "Get lost! All you think about is getting laid or drinking at some random persons house. When was the last damn time you listened to me? Was ready to do stuff that i enjoyed? So honestly, have fun alone, i won't be keeping you company anymore." I finished off and didn't hesitate to just leave them be.

-- The Next Day --

I flipped myself over, slamming the sketch book on the bed with a sigh. In such desire to drown myself with drawing but the racing thoughts has me lost about what to sketch.

I wanna go back. Time travel. Relive the moment of what happened just so i can take my words back. I mostly regret the interaction because Ms Hale and i are never gonna be the same anymore. There's not a single possibility of us hanging out besides at school.

I don't even care that i would have been hiding these feelings from her. As long as i could at least just be close to her, hear her say my name, for the last time-

My mind paused, hearing the two honks of a car just outside my window so i stood up, peaking out to see that my Aunt is here to pick me up.

I rushed to grab my sketch book and packed bag, walking right down the stairs but as soon as i turned the corner that revealed the living room, my eyes locked on Lauren.

"Maddy, was the honking for you?" My mom backed up from the door, asking. "Mhm. Audrey is here. We're taking one last trip by the sea since we're on the last days before snow comes." I coldly replied, taking a glance back in the living room, Ms Hale just sitting with a cup in hand.

"You know what, can you wait just for a minute? I wanna have a word with her in private. And honestly, keep Lauren company whilst i'm gone." Sandra explained and left through the door without hesitation.

"Maddy. Can we talk?" I looked back forward, seeing her approach. "About?" I sat my bag down, ready to actually hear her out. "It's Saturday. Remember?"

"Yeah? What about it?" I acted clueless, knowing exactly what she is referring to as i'd definitely go out to the mountains with her rather than Audrey.

"I'm about to leave to the cabin. I wanna go with you. I promised you so it's only right."

"But i already have plans. My aunt and i are going for a roadtrip."

"Maddy," i watched her step closer, grabbing my hands in her hold, "we shouldn't be enemies just from what we confessed. I don't even want to distance myself from you just because we are in this situation."

"But you said that we should ignore each other." I replied, not restricting myself to interlock our hands together. "I never said that! I said to ignore.. honestly, forget about that. Maddy, let's just maybe pretend the talk we had has never happened, okay? That's all."

My lips formed into a smile after her words but i kept myself composed to at most not make any wrong actions. "I think i've changed my mind about how to spend this day." I whispered out, catching the woman's smile grow.


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