Close as Strangers》Hemmings

Chapter Thirty Three

It was Saturday and Luke was coming over to work on the first part of him research paper. We only had a month of school left and I was excited and freaked out. I needed to talk to Luke about college. I know we'd kind of talked about it before but I was still a little confused what was going to happen. Long distance? Same schools? Same state? Same country? I hope.

The doorbell rang and I rushed downstairs. I opened the door and just wanted to cry, God he was so cute. I just really loved him and suddenly I really needed to show it. "Hey, Gweny. How are you, love?"

I stared at him and then pulled him into a kiss. No one was home, my parents were at their offices and Michael was with Calum. I shut the door with our lips still attached. We stayed like that before he pulled away and spoke, "Jesus, Gwen. Nice to see you too."

"No ones home," I say.

"That's romantic," he chuckles.

"Luke, I need you." I try not to whine. I just needed him one last time like this before he made a decision. This way if we're ever apart I can think of him like this, cute and vulnerable, and mine. "Please."

He nodded with a slight smile. He pecked my lips and took my hand as we walked upstairs.

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I laid in his arms for what felt like days just soaking in everything about him. His smell, this lanky but built body, his little bit of scruff, the way he looks when he's sleeping, the way his hands hold me, everything. I tried not to let the tears escape. I moved out of his arms and went downstairs to get out all of his stuff for his research paper. I opened his computer and realized I didn't know his password. I tried some birthdays and his dogs name but nothing worked.

"It's Gwen2012, capital G." Luke appeared in the door way putting on his shirt with sleepy eyes.

"What?" I asked.

"My password, you know that was freshman year, the year I fell for you." He walked around the table and came to sit by me. I made me think about the first time we did this back in August. I was so nervous and now it was like back to square one. I didn't want anything to happen to us, I was so used to this. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Like what?" I asked

"Like I'm about to die or run away." He chuckled and pulled his laptop over to himself. He opened up word and showed me what he'd written so far. "This is part one I think I just need about one more paragraph."

"Okay, I nodded." He put the computer in front of me. I tried to read it but I couldn't, I couldn't pay attention.

Luke was looking through some of his books for more research.

"Luke have you chosen which college you're going to? Michael and I chose and talked to the counselor and everything."

"Oh, uh no I haven't." He said, barely looking up from the book.

"Oh really? You got some scholarships and different stuff to go over, I'm sure it is a lot to go over."

"Yeah, I guess. I just haven't thought on it too much."

"Well you better, I mean you have to have in the the next three weeks for the paperwork and graduation ceremony for school."

He looked over at me, "I know, I'm just trying to get through all this stuff before I go and make big life decisions." He chuckled.

"But that's exactly why you should be focusing on them. They're life changing decisions." I practically laugh, "How was this not a big deal? We were just talking about how scary this is?"

He sat the book down, "I know it's that I just haven't decided. I'm not ready."

"Well you better get ready because it's coming and faster than you know. You've gotten into some great places and you're gonna do great wherever, like I said before."

"Well I'm a little sad you didn't talk to me before you talked to Michael. Ashton and Calum have already chosen schools, you and Michael. I'm scared too, I don't want things to change. Plus you're looking at me like this is the last time we'll ever-" he stopped. "You still think I'm going to just leave you don't you?"

"I-"

"Oh my god Gwen, are you serious?" He stood. "We just talked about this. No wonder I'm freaked out. What was that upstairs som type of goodbye?" Wow, he hit the nail on the head. "Even if it were we still have a month of school and the summer to figure things out."

"Luke, I-"

"No, it's not fair Gwen. We don't even know what's going to happen and your saying goodbye because you don't want to deal with it? What were you going to do just stop talking to me? And then what just pretending we never happened because you think I'm just going to leave? Is that even it because I really don't understand?"

"I'm not good enough for you!" I shouted and stood up. My breath was heavy and I was scared. I never liked thinking about it so I tried not to but it was the truth, it just finally put itself into words.

"What?" Luke quietly breathed out.

"I'm not Luke," I couldn't keep the tears in now.

"How could you even think that?" He practically laughed looking at me as if I were crazy. "You've got to be kidding, right?"

"No I'm not kidding." I shut his computer and sit back down. "Luke you're such an amazing man. You're smart, talented, kind. You have what everyone wants. We're going to college and we're getting older, you shouldn't be tied down to someone like me. College years are some of the best of your life, so you should live them."

"And I will, with you." Luke sat down next to me.

"Luke really," "No, Gwen. Tied down to someone like you? You not good enough for me? Gwen, you are in no way good enough for me. You're the most selfless person I know. You're beautiful and you don't even try. You love Mexican food as much as I do and sappy movies. You cuddle better than Calum and that's saying something." He laughs and takes my hand. "You forgave me for making the biggest mistake of my life, losing you. I did it once I'm not stupid enough to do it again. I get if you don't want to be mine anymore but you're it for me, Gwen. I know, I know 'you don't know that.' I do. I do because I've never wanted anything more than you, you are perfect for me. I know you hate that word but you are. I'd be more than lucky to be 'tied down' to you for the rest of my life. So you better get ready for our life together because I'm not going anywhere. We may have fights but that's life, okay."

"Okay," I smile while a couple of tears fall. He leans and kisses my cheek. "I'm still freaked out about this college stuff and life and-"

"I know and you have every right to be. So am I frankly," he spoke softly. "But I know things will work out. Plus we have amazing family and friends."

"You're always right." I smile.

"Part of my irresistible charm. Now help me with my paper, please. That way once were done we can go hangout with our crazy ass friends. Ashton's parents got his sister a puppy, we can go play with it." He grinned like a child.

"Deal."

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Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Getting to see some of Gwen's insecurities. Luke is precious and I want him to be my boyfriend. *que Justin Bieber's song.*

I saw Mocking Jay part two. I really enjoyed it. Some people didn't and I don't get it. Like its the end of the series people die and get to finally live their life. It can't all be sunshine and rainbows. Either way Peeta is my baby.

Almost done with the semester which means more time for writing! Plus Christmas break!

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving and all that jazz.

Votes and comments are always welcome.

Laters.