Alex book thing

All of my (biggest) mistakes.

Hi, yes,

Remember me still? Probably not. I'm not someone people remember. Unless I've hurt your feelings once, because then your boyfriend is probably still chasing me waiting for his chance to beat my face in.

To continue on that note, today I wanted to share with you the biggest mistakes I've made over the course of my existence. At least, the biggest mistakes, otherwise this chapter will turn into a novel itself. 

Yes, I've done some pretty stupid shit in my lifetime. No, I'm not trying to sound cool and no I'm not sounding like some sparkly vampire bad boy (or was that the werewolf guy?). I'm sharing these things so you can learn from them (who am I kidding, please follow my path, they were all fun). I want to give you some wisdom (what the fuck am I talking about) and something to really think about next time you drink Vodka (Vodka is good though).

So, no more rambling, no more bullshit, here are the dumbest mistakes Alex made and he still does not regret.

#1

That moment I decided to race my friends on my skateboard and got hit by a car. This was completely my fault, I was being a dumbass and yes I did have a lot of pain afterwards. If you think it's fun to be reckless amongst cars, think again, because cars go faster and are tougher than you are. They will hit you and you will be in pieces and that is very painful. I'm a dumbass.

#2 

That one time I called my principal a "homophobic incapable douchbag". I got suspended and I had to write an essay as of why I should've never said those words, which I let Kyran write because I was too angry and would've honestly written the same words 10.000 times over and handed that in. I have not changed my mind even though I have now left that hell pit, but I can tell you that it's not the smartest idea to always say what you think out loud. At least, not to your principal. Still, fuck you mister ****.

#3 

That one time I started a discussion with two police officers because I obviously wasn't speeding and I obviously wasn't drunk. I really wasn't. I said they were only picking on me because I was black (which I'm not). They did not like that comment. Then I wanted to take out my phone and they pointed their guns at me because they though I was going to shoot them, to which I said "if I'd wanted to shoot you, I would've..." I didn't finish my sentence because I realized how fucking stupid I was. Then I shut up, listened to them, nodded and left. I hate cops.

#4 

The time I spray painted my dad's car bright orange. He kicked my ass for it, I had to leave the house for about two weeks and I of course had to pay for his car being re-painted. Then again, he's a dick and he's still a dick and he had it coming. I think next time I'll go for pink.

#5

All the times I tried to play a sport and made a fuck up out of myself. 

#6 

All the times I got way too drunk and ended up in a ditch/strange house/on the floor/somewhere on a sidewalk/in the 24/7 tavern/all of the above on the same night. 

Please, make sure that when you are drunk someone gets you home. Or tries to get you home. Because waking up surrounded by leaves because it suddenly starts raining and your head is exploding, is not very pleasant. It still isn't. Not that I have learned from that.

#7

All the times a girl asked my for my opinion and I actually gave my honest opinion. You shouldn't ever do that shit. You will regret that shit. Girls do not appreciate that shit. Just don't do it.

***

Stay different.

- Alex