Alex book thing

Answering some things.

Yeah, I'm still not dead. What a surprise, eh? Maybe a bit of a disappointment to some of you. You might be wondering where I've been for the past... something. Probably not though.

So you might be wondering why on earth I've decided to continue this disaster of a thing (cause c'mon it ain't a book). The reason is that Kyran has been telling me that instead of reacting my "passive agressive behaviour" on him, I need to express my feelings through words. Like him. Fuck no.

So instead of doing that I'm answering some of your questions. It seriously blows my mind that you people are interested in anything considering my rather uneventful life. Then again I do live with Wattpad account superstar Kyran, so maybe these questions are all about him. Some inside information about what goes on behind the laptop screen. Which color his underwear is (white) and what he eats for his breakfast (waffles).

Cool. So here we go. Because you all wanted it. Fucking stupid.

1. Why have you chosen to study psychology?

Cause just because I can't express my feeling in a normal matter, doesn't mean I'm not interested in why the fuck people even have feelings. Yup.

2. When did you decide to become vegeterian?

A long time ago. I went to a farm with a friend of mine and cuddled cows and goats and shit (yes I was a very nice boy sometime ago). After that I decided to stop eating meat. Which caused my dad to be pissed. But hey, I've always done exactly what I want to do so he could fuck off.

3. What's your favorite thing to do on a saturday night?

Take my skateboard, take my friends, take my dog, take a shit ton of alcohol and crash in the skatepark. Where the shady people are. We are shady. So shady.

4. Do your neighbours still think you're a murderer?

Hm, did you seriously read this whole thing? Good for you. The neighbours next to my old house do still think I murder babies for fun and microwave cats in my spare time. Yeah. My new neighbours simply think I'm in antisocial dickhead. Which is quite on point, actually.

5. Do you have any tattoos like Kyran?

First mention of Kyran, I'm surprised. Yup, I have a couple.

6. Did you get into any fight the past five months?

Why would anybody be interested in that. To answer your question, except for some epic road rage cursing performants and some threats to a guy that keeps bothering us, no. I have not punched anyone in the eye or kicked anybody in the stomach. Who the fuck do you think I am? Alex? Lol. I'm so not funny.

7. Your humor is very dark, did anybody ever tell you that?

Your questions are not really questions, did anybody tell you that? Did nobody ever explain to you what questions are? Jesus. Also, depends on what your standard of "dark" is. I like to make jokes that are sarcastic because I am. I like to make jokes that make people wondering whether they are supposed to laugh or not, because I could really not give a shit whether they laugh or not. Most of the times all my "jokes" hold truth in them. It's just my way of bringing it, cause I don't want to be punched in the jaw.

8. Are you more of a dog or a cat person?

I have a dog. But really I'm a cat, dog, cow, goat, whale, snake, mouse, fly, whateverlivingbreathingcrawlingflyingcreature person. I don't make any exceptions, don't have any favorites. Cool huh. I'm so cool.

9. Do you think you're cool or something?

Sometimes. Most of the times I don't, mostly because people tell me I'm not and that I need to get my shit together and need to find a girlfriend and what not. So cool? No. Are you? Serious question, I'm very very interested now. You seem to find it very important whether someone is cool or not. You must be quite popular. Haha.

10. Is there a place you would like to visit this year?

Jesus where do I start. Doesn't anybody really want to travel the world at some point? Sleep underneath the stars, swim in very blue water (I have the writing skills of a fucking goldfish). I'd like to go to Canada someday. And Africa, Asia, places in Europe. Climb some mountains, drink some beers, eat some awesome vegeterian food, pet some kangaroos and elephants and shit.

11. Is there anything you would say to the teenagers in this world if you could?

Stop fucking caring about what people think of you. For fuck sake. There are so many people out there that like you for who you are. There are even people that like me for who I am, so there's sure as hell hope for you. Stop putting filters on your face, stop staring in the mirror, stop covering your face with make-up to look like someone else. Stop drooling over stupid fucking celebrities that really aren't making any difference in this world. I stopped caring, you can do the same. This does not mean that you need to stop caring about everything, some shit is important. Education, for example. Which is another thing I would like to say: make something of yourself, you fucking piece of living breathing molocules. You have a brain, you have arms and legs and the ability to think and speak and move. Do something with that shit. Whatever it is, whatever you like, whatever you want. But don't terrorize people and be a piece of shit. There's enough of that in the world.

So with that I'd like to end, simply because I think that if I continue Wattpad will delete my book because I've reached some sort invisible curse limit. Fuck. I seriously need to stop trying.

If there's anything else you'd like to know, try your best and leave me a comment or a message. I'll maybe respond, maybe I won't. It depends.

Stay different.

- Alex