In the Naruto world, where there aren't any cookies (Book 1 of The New Noblesse)

Zabuza and Haku

"Why are you so excited, Naruto?" Sakura asked. Naruto gave her a huge grin. "It's my first time being out of the village, so I'm a traveller now!" he said. Tazuna turned to Kakashi.  

"Am I going to be okay with them?" he asked.  

"Not a chance, old man. You're gonna diieee." I called to him. Kakashi gave me a warning look and sighed.  

"Don't worry, I'm a Jounin, you should be fine." he said.

We started walking into the forest. I was unusually quiet, waiting to see the puddle. As soon as we came across it, I gathered chakra in my feet and jumped in it. Giggling, I twirled in a circle and jumped a few more times in the puddle, before sticking a kunai in it.  

"I claim this puddle as my own." I stated with a serious face. The others sweatdropped at me and I shrugged their looks off. I grinned at Kakashi, who eyed me suspiciously.  

"Yup, I knew," I said.  

"And I also know that it's not us, it's him." I said, pointing at Tazuna. Kakashi's eyes widened before he nodded, and went off to talk to Tazuna. The others looked at me.  

"What just happened?" Sakura asked.

"There were hidden mist ninjas in the puddle." I explained, and their eyes were wide. Naruto was smart enough to trip over his own feet and cut his hand on a jagged rock. Idiot. I sweatdropped as Kakashi took care of the wound. We continued walking until we ended up in the boat.  

I zoned out, listening to Sweet Sacrifice by Evanescence -Ipods rule-, thinking of a way to keep Zabuza and Haku alive, and came back to reality when Kakashi yelled out.

"DUCK!" and me, being the person I am, jumped, and landed on the sword, a little behind Zabuza. He turned to me and smirked, while I was calming my inner fangirl. It didn't work. I glomped Zabuza, ignoring his attempts to understand what the hell this random girl was doing latched onto him like a leech. He decided to ignore it and turned back to Kakashi, and got in him battle stance. I had to ruin the moment.  

"Are you two seriously gonna fight when I'm clinging to this guy?" they sweatdropped and glared at me, while I decided that the sky was suddenly the most fascinating thing ever. I was once again ignored, and got an anime irk mark on my head.  

"Zaza, Kaka-baka, quit circling each other while I'm fangirling on Zaza!" I yelled. My team deadpanned, and I saw Haku chuckle from behind them in the bushes. Zabuza was staring at me like I was a strange creature, and tried to get me off his arm. He finally decided it was time to get serious, because he swung his sword at me. I dodged and strutted up to him.

"That wasn't very nice of you." I said, slightly pouting, He twitched.  

"Zaza?" he asked me. I nodded.  

"You need a cute name 'cause you're cute." I said, grinning. Tori facepalmed and Kago was just lying on the ground enjoying the show. I looked at my team, who were giving me weird looks.  

"What? If Sakura can fangirl over Sasuke, who isn't even three quarters as hot as Zabuza, then I can fangirl over the real thing." I said.

"Kuroi, do you even know who this guy is?" Kakashi asked in a warning tone. I grinned and nodded.  

"This fine specimen is Zabuza Momochi, otherwise known as The Demon of the Hidden Mist due to a certain massacre that happened a while ago, one of the seven swordsmen, is in the Bingo Book and has a companion. Right, Zaza?" I said, almost like reading out of a book. There was silence as I smiled. My smile faltered when I noticed Zabuza was glaring at me. "Look, if you didn't want me to talk about Hak- uh, about him, then fine." I snapped, walking over to Kago, an idea forming in my head.

'"What are you thinking about, Kuroi?" Kago asked me.

"I just want to know if I could summon my Ipod without really drawing blood, could I do higher level Jutsus?" I replied.

'Tori, you're not any kind of demon, that could help me with these kinds of things, are you?' I asked jokingly. Tori was silent.

'Tori? You there?' I asked, Again, no response. I sighed. Whatever. Focusing on the battle, Kakashi was behind Zaza with a kunai to his throat.

"Kakashi sensei, watch out." I called out, just before Zaza disappeared and reappeared behind Zaza. Kakashi quickly blocked his attack I decided to put my theory to the test. I quickly stood up and ran to them. I made a few hand signs (which were probably wrong) and performed a Jutsu that I thought was cool since I've seen it in the show.  

"Water Style:Mouth of the Serpent?" I said, and then the water that was surrounding us turned into a snake and rushed towards Zaza. (A/N: pretty much all Justus I have in le fanfic are actual jutsus. I'm not good at naming things, so if you find one or two Justus with dumb names, they're made up.) 

"Holy crayons, sorry Zaza, I didn't expect that to work!" I exclaimed. Zaza was swept up into the snake's mouth, and came back down coughing, trying to get water out of his lungs. It was then Haku decided to make his appearance, throwing senbon needles at Zaza and taking him away. Not long after, Kakashi collapsed due to overuse of his sharengan. As my team carried him off, I excused myself to go see Zaza.

Not that they knew where I was going. I ran into the forest to their hideout, following Haku's very faint chakra signature. I only know how to do this because I had met  Anko before, and managed to talk her into teaching me. Talking her into it included, if not was heavily based on dango.

I had gotten lost many times, as it was soo well hidden. Eventually, I got there and knocked on the door like any normal person, before strolling in.

"Seriously, Haku? The door wasn't even locked." I said, making him jump and throw a bunch of needles at me. I ducked under them, 'cause I'm awesome like that (lol jk, it was luck :p) and smirked at him. He glared at me before rising in a defensive position. Behind him, I could see Zaza, asleep, or maybe unconscious. I held my hands up, a signal telling him I won't do anything.  

"Dude, if I wanted to do anything, do you really think I would tell you about your door not being locked or just kill you?" I asked. He slowly nodded, and relaxed his position.  

"I came to warn you. About Gato. But it can wait until Zaza wakes up." I said, staring down at an oblivious Zabuza.

Haku twitched ever so slightly. 

"How did you know about him? About me?" he asked. I shook my head sadly.  

"Sorry, I can't tell you. Even my teammates don't know, but I guess that's my fault. But if I told them, they would probably think I'm crazy, and Sasuke would ask me about Itachi, so..." I trailed off, hoping he got my gist. He did, and nodded to show understanding. I saw Zaza waking up, and bekoned Haku closer. He came and dropped to Zaza's side. Zaza ruffled his hair and grinned slightly before seeing me and glaring.  

"Before anything is said, I'm not here to hurt anybody. I'm here to warn you. Gato will betray you, and when he does, Zaza, you'll kill him, but before that, Haku dies from Kakashi's chidori, protecting Zaza. Then, the villagers show up and scare off all of Gato's minions, and Zaza dies from bloodloss, then it snows for some reason or the other." I said, taking a deep breath once I finished. They stared me and nodded slowly, as if they knew it could be true.  

"Why are you telling me this?" Zaza asks, and I smirk.  

"Zaza, you're the third most epic person in this world, I wouldn't want you to die." I said, before leaving.