Life Of A Prostitute (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 14

Niall's POV

The morning was quiet just like many of them had been for the past month Zayn had been living with me. I just sat at the kitchen table with my coffee and thought over everything. I did this more often than not because most of the time when I'm with Zayn my thoughts get too jumbled up for me to actually process anything.

He's been getting a little better in the sense he doesn't feel the need to work for his food or for his stay here. He knows he's free to come and go, but he chooses to just stay in the house all day. It's weird to me, but just last night he had a nightmare about getting arrested so I figured that was what he was hiding from all day just staying in the house. I don't mind because it makes me feel like I've created a safe place for him.

He's improved a little more than I really expected. He spends allot of time drawing and reading. One day when I got home from work, I found him in my bedroom asleep on the floor with books scattered all around him. They were all flipped to different pages as if he were tying to read each book at once because he couldn't get enough of the knowledge that was in his hands. I just crawled next to him on the floor and let him curl up to my chest, his hands protectively holding me in place.

The more time I spend with him the more there is that seems to be coming out of his personality. One things is his need to be protective. The way he looks at me when I try telling him about my dad shows how protective he is. It's like he doesn't want me to even be anywhere near a place where I could be hurt emotionally or physically. There were ways that he would touch me that showed he was going to protect me no matter what. I like to think he wants to protect me because I've shown him that I could protect him as well. As his mind begin to heal slowly, he started to discover himself. We both were discovering this new Zayn together and it was the most amazing thing I could have been apart of. It did things to me that I couldn't get over.

Even through he was getting better, he was still not fully there. There were nights where I would hear him pacing in his room and repeating the same words over and over again. "Not anymore," he would repeat under his breath. He sounded like an addict trying to stop by telling himself what he needed to do. It was those nights I would stay in the living room in hopes I wouldn't see him sneaking back to his old habits. But in the morning after he didn't give in, he seemed so much stronger than the day before. Those were the mornings he would hug me and mumbled a small, "we did it," into my neck. I would feel just as proud of him as I'm sure he felt of himself. Those were the two things he had discovered about himself. He had discovered strength and a protective spirit. To me, those new discoveries were pulling me in more than he even knew. That's why I needed to spend these quiet mornings alone. It was to brace myself for the day I'll spend with Zayn drawing me closer and closer to falling on my knees and begging him to ruin me in every way.

I knew that he was in no place to have me wanting him and lusting over him. He's spent his whole life being just an object of lust, I don't want to continue that for him. I want to help him out of that life style and continue finding himself. It makes things horrible for me when I can't form a proper sentence around him because he's so perfect. His face, his whole body, his smile, his heart, just him made me feel so incredibly attracted to him and in a way it made me sick. I didn't want to be, but my heart had so many different ideas than what my mind wanted.

"Morning." Zayn mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. I got up and went get some bowls and cereal for us both. I reached up to get the bowls, but Zayn came up behind and wrapped his arms around me. I stopped what I was doing and stayed in his touch. It's things like this that make me want him to shove me against a wall and kiss me senseless.

"You could have stayed in bed a little longer. I want to wake up next you a little. It already is bad that I feel like I'm intruding on you when I wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares." Zayn mumbled into my neck. I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his neck to look at him. His brown eyes looked filled with doubt like he shouldn't request me to do anything for him. The thing is, he asks me to so nothing for him so it's okay when he wants something. I'm actually glad to hear it, especially if it's something as small as staying in bed just a little longer.