Life Of A Prostitute (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 23

Zayn's POV

The second I walked out of the flat with a bag full of clothes, I had a nagging feeling that I was making a huge mistake. I knew that I was going to hurt Niall by doing this, but I couldn't help but think of what would happen if I didn't do it. He would be in worse trouble than even I would be if Greg actually followed through with his threat. I didn't want that for Niall so I felt it was better that I left, but it still felt like this was worst decision I could have made since I chose to be a prostitute. I didn't want that at all so I wanted to leave, but now I knew I hurt us both just by leaving. However, I was saving us both from getting in trouble by leaving.

I walked down the streets that lead back to where I came from, but there was a fear in me that I wasn't safe anymore. Before I could walk up and down the sidewalks, get in cars with strangers and do whatever I felt like I needed to do to get by without a care in the world. Now that I've seen the difference from living and surviving, I don't want it to be that way. I don't want that at all, but I can't change it. There's nothing and no one that can change the life I've been destined to live. No even Niall can do it because I need him to keep living the life he's living without me.

He may not see it, but he's lucky. He's lucky that he has a father that he wants to make proud. He's lucky to have all he does, even the smallest thing like food and new shoes are things that make him rich to me. Hell, he's even lucky to be a police officer. He got stuck on the right side between good and bad. I got stuck on the bad side which is a guaranteed ticket to no way out. Niall got of the good side and he'll always have people behind him pointing out what he did good because everyone knows good over weighs the bad. That's why the good come crawling looking for the bad so they can make it better. That's why if Niall ever does anything wrong, people will always point out he was a police officer.

No one sees police officers as a bad thing unless they're doing something wrong. I've been there more times than not and even up to last night, I still saw that police uniform that was hanging over the door in our bedroom as something that haunts me. I never understood why people want to hate the police. I have every reason to hate them because they could easily find me and put me in jail, but I know they're just doing their job. There's no reason for me to hate them because they're job is to stop the bad from doing more bad in a world that should be good. I do understand when they do bad things, like shooting people for no reason other than power or harassing someone just for the fun of it, that they deserve to be hated. But for me right now in my own life, I see them all as bad that I need to stay away from. Except for Niall because his heart is really to be a nursery school teacher, not one of them.

The farther I walked, the more I found myself thinking of who I had found myself to be while I was with Niall. I found I could still draw pretty well. I found I still understood the beautiful meaning of words. But mostly, I found that love was an emotion that I could feel towards someone. The thought of how much I loved Niall brought my feet to a stop because I just wanted to turn back and pretend this never happened. It was only about midday and Niall had left me a note saying he was going to be working later, so I could make this as if the thought of just running out never crossed my mind. I shook my head and took a few slow steps before stopping again. I didn't ever know that I could love Niall. I've never been showed love from anyone but him and now I'm leaving it. Part of my desperate self wants to turn back because I know no one has a heart big enough to love a prostitute like me. No one but Niall can do that and I know I won't love anyone but him. I just stood there on the sidewalk thinking if I should follow through with this or not, but an answer could never come. I was stuck between protecting good and covering it up with bad. I think the right decision was an obvious one. Even then, I couldn't move from my spot on that damn sidewalk.

"Zayn?" I soft voice asked behind me. I turned and saw Louis Tomlinson standing by an open door to some place behind me. He had flour on an apron he was wearing and the most shocked expression I could have ever seen I found my feet walking to him before I ran into his arms and let myself feel like I wasn't so stupidly alone. Louis hugged me so tightly that I'm sure if I hadn't gained some weight he would have crushed me. He was still small as ever, but I could feel he wasn't the skinny type of small anymore. He gained weight too which was a sign right off the bat that he probably wasn't scraping by and sleeping with people.