Life Of A Prostitute (Ziall Horlik) AU

Chapter 15

Zayn's POV

My lips still tingled as I woke up the next morning with Niall laying close to me. It was the most amazing thing to look over his slightly puffy lips and know that I got to taste those. I don't think that I expected this to happen, but all day my stomach had been churning in a way that was telling me I wanted to actually kiss him. Not the accidentally kiss we had, but one with purpose. I know I had reacted by running into the bathroom, but only because a small voice in my mind reminded me of my actual first kiss.

It was with the man that ended up becoming my stepfather. He just decided one night when my mum was too passed out to care that he wanted to come into my room and force himself on me. He kissed me and I felt like I had something that I wanted to keep taken from me. That's what lead me to never wanting to kiss anyone because I wanted that feeling of butterflies or my breath being taken away. I wanted it with someone special and I got just that with Niall. It wasn't that he forced a kiss on me, it was more like I got to control the kiss to reassure us both that this was what we both wanted. It was actually nice to feel in control of something for the first time in my life.

Even if there were guys that let me top and women that wanted me to pretty much control everything, it was still an order. I was ordered to do those things and I wasn't really given the freedom to want to actually take pride in the fact everything was in my hands. With this innocent kiss, Niall gave me something that I needed to really begin healing that part in my mind that was feeling like I was going to be okay just like he had promised me.

Niall's eyes fluttered a little and he slowly rolled on his back. I reached forward and let my fingers run over his lips before he actually woke up. I left my hand rested on his cheek as he looked over at me with his sleepy blue eyes. I couldn't help but feel a little spark go through my heart because I liked waking up next to him. As much as I want to control what happens to my body and my life, I like that my heart feels safe with him.

"Do you normally touch people to wake then up?" Niall asked me then rolled so he could curl into me. I shook my head and touched over his prominent collarbone.

"I only do that to you." Whispered to him. He smiled at me then looked at me lips like he wanted to continue those lazy kisses we both fell asleep sharing. I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips, but when I tried to pull back, Niall's hand came behind my head to hold me in place. I pulled him closer to me, keeping my hands wrapped around his very fit waist. Niall has a cute body in a lean muscle type way. I can feel that he works out, but the curves to his body made him so much more welcoming to touch and cuddle up.

Niall and I continued to kiss each other slowly. I could feel his heart beating against my own chest. It was an amazing feeling because I could detect these weren't feelings brought on by just pure excitement that someone was giving him the time of day, but feelings that were brought on by feelings of the unknown. That's how I felt as well. My heart had been hard for so long that I didn't know what I was feeling, but I knew I felt something that was real. It scared me, yet pulled me in closer because all I wanted to was test out these waters of choosing instead of being taken from.

"You told me that was your first kiss since you were fifteen... How is that possible?" Niall asked me after we both pulled away to breathe. I knew he was hinting at the fact he didn't understand how it was possible that I haven't kissed anyone considering my occupation. He held me a little tighter and gave me a nod that it was okay to continue. I was afraid to tell him, I just didn't feel like telling him because I wanted him to look at me like I was strong. I wanted him to lean on me and know I could be there for him too. My past made me weak.

"I wanted to keep something like that for someone special. It was the one thing I had control over." I told him. Niall's smaller hands reached up to trace my lips. There was nothing that could have been said because I pretty much told him he was someone special to me. I'm still very traumatized from my whole life before him so I wasn't sure if that's what I was supposed to say to him or if that was something I should have just kept to myself.