You Chose To Love Me (StudxStud) [Completed]

3: No Father Of Mine

OCTOBER'S P.O.V

Three Months Later...

It's been 3 months since roses relapse and so far everything has been great. No were not back together but I am back at our apartment and were working on being back together.

As much as I want to be with rose, she really just needs my support and someone to talk too. For the last 3 months she's made it her duty to show me that she doesn't care about what others say and shes accepted me for who I am. She has her days where she's a little "demanding" but I don't trip over it.

--

My father was in the hospital and though me and him haven't really spoken to each other since my mother died. It would be bad if I didn't go and see him to make sure he's alright

I don't really remember much about him. It seemed as if my memory was playing tricks on me. I knew there was something off about my father but I couldn't quite remember nor could I figure out what it was. It was as if my mind was blocking it out.

One Hour Later...

I'm finally sitting next to my dad's hospital bed and he hadn't yet woken up. I couldn't quite figure out why my mom overdosed on drugs, I couldn't figure out why she would leave her only child like that.

A part of me felt like it wasn't an accident. That she wanted to overdose, that maybe there was something I couldn't remember or something that her and my dad kept from me. I wasn't sure but I was going to figure out.

I sat there for a moment looking over at my dad. He had a scar on his face it looked months old. "October" he says as he looks over at me.

"Dad" I replied back with concern noticeable in my eyes. This is going to sound weird but I felt slightly uncomfortable around him, I don't know what it was but I couldn't put my finger on it something just wasn't right.

"You always were my pretty, pretty girl" once those words left his mouth. All the memories I tried to keep locked away, that I thought I no longer remembered, that I wished to forget. They all came back to me within a flash.

FLASHBACK...

"My pretty girl" he said as I smiled up at him. "You're always putting your pajamas on inside out"

And that's when it happened when he took the only thing I had left. My innocence, I was only fourteen and my mom was too strung out on drugs to realize.

I remember this day like it was yesterday and I don't know how I ever taught myself to forget.

My hair was now messy as I laid on the bed. Blood running down my thighs as I cried and cried to myself. "Let Daddy clean you up" he said "You remember the rules?" He said

"Don't tell mom. She always gets mad about the inside out pajamas" he said

Then with that he left my room and every night since then I taught myself to forget.

FLASHBACK OVER.....

"It was you?" I whispered more to myself then to my father. "You did this to me?" I said "You took that away from me?" I cried

My father looked up at me. It didnt take him long to realize what I was talking about. He tried to explain himself, He pleaded and apologized to me. I was the one who was hurt and he was crying?

"Mommy killed herself didn't she? Her overdosing wasn't an accident was it?" I looked over at him with a sad expression "she did it on purpose because she found out about what you did to me, didn't she? I sobbed louder and he didn't say anything as if he was lost for words. "Didn't she!" I screamed.

He looked at me as he started to cry even more. I couldn't understand why the hell he was crying. I was the one he hurt, I was the one who would never be the same again. I taught myself how to forget what happened to me because I was a little young then and now that I finally remembered.

Nothing could stop my rage. Nothing could stop the anger that I was feeling.

"Yes" he finally admitted "Yes she found out which is why she sent you away. Which is why she killed herself because I hurt my daughter"he chocked out.

"You raped your own daughter. Your flesh and blood? How could you do that to me. How could you lie to me? You fucking monster and just so we're clear you are no father of mine" I screamed

I walked up to him as I put my hands on his shoulder "I would harm you but that just isn't me. I'm not a monster like you, but know one thing. I will never forgive you and this is the last time you will ever see me again. So do not come looking for me, do not bring my name up when people ask about me, do not lie and say that you were a good father because you clearly were not, just stay away or you'll surely regret it."

I step away as I look at this man that I once called my father for the last time. Part of me wanted to kill him and the other part of me wanted him to live with self pity and guilt.

I walk to the hospital door as I open it. I hesitate before turning back around to the man I now hate. "I hope you never forget what you've done. I hope you remember this day like it's your last. I hope you blame yourself for my mother's death because you are definitely responsible and to say that I once loved you and called you my father, I thought you could never break my heart. I was obviously wrong" and with that I left the hospital with tears in my eyes.

I didn't know what to do. At this exact moment I wanted to die. I no longer wanted to live, I was more than angry. My father my fucking father did this to me?

---

Later At Home...

"Rose... Rose!" I screamed. I couldn't take it anymore, every memory of me and my dad was coming back to haunt me. Every time he would come in my room and hurt me. Every time he would lie and say he loved me. Every time he would force his way into my room when I attempted to lock the door. Every time he laid hands on my mother. I remembered it all and I didn't want to.

I wanted it all to go away.

Rose finally came running down the stares. Quickly wrapping her arms around my waste. She kissed my cheek "October what is it? What's wrong?" She asked and for awhile I didn't respond, I didn't know what to say. I was at a lost for words, for once in my life. I was unable to speak.

We were now sitting on the couch as I sat on roses lap. She tried over and over to ask me what was wrong but got no response after about 30 minutes she gave up. That is until I started crying again.

"Rose, I need you" I sobbed into her neck. She kissed my shoulder as she rubbed my back trying to calm me down. "I know. I'm here baby" she repeated over and over as she gently rubbed up and down my back.

I didn't know what to think but I knew that I needed to get my anger out or else it would consume me. This was surely going to break me, I just know it.

"No rose, I need you, I need you to fuck me, hard, rough and I need it to hurt"