You Chose To Love Me (StudxStud) [Completed]

17: Confusion

OCTOBERS P.O.V (Nina In Media)

"Without rose what are we?"

Nina's words played over and over in my head. She was right though, without rose here things weren't the same. I had allowed myself to forget about Nina thinking that she'd never come back.

Nina was mad at me and blaming me for rose but rose did horrible things to me as well and she seemed to just completely ignore that or maybe it didn't matter to her because the was no longer alive but that didn't mean I couldn't still be hurt by roses betrayal,

I was currently still at the cabin sitting on the bed in the guest room. Nina was sleeping her hair fell loosely over her face as her arms were wrapped tightly around her. I took that as my cue to leave but something was stopping me.

Nina was important to me. I couldn't just leave her right after I had told her about rose. It was very unsympathetic of me and believe it or not I actually cared for Nina alot, maybe even more now that she was the only thing I had left that reminded me of rose.

The way her loose waves fell down her back. Her intoxicating scent that smelt like vanilla, her big and beautiful hazel orbs that I couldn't get enough of.

And I had to ask myself. Did I really love raya? Or did I just love the idea of being with her again because she was the only one who was actually there for me.

You know how when you've been with someone so long you feel like you're obligated to be with them? Maybe that's how it was with raya, maybe the only reason I was feeling this way towards her was out of obligation.

Or perhaps I was using raya as a rebound for rose. Honestly I dont know

My life had become a mess and I felt as if I was no longer in control of it.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, I looked over my shoulder to see Nina. She was no longer sleeping but you could tell that she had just woken up by her messy bed hair and I had to admit that she looked beautiful none the less.

"I love you" she said

I don't know what it was but hearing those words from Nina made me feel some kind a way. My breath hitched in my throat and my stomach fluttered

It was hard for me to understand my own feelings. If I felt this way about nina then how exactly do I feel about raya.

Was I in love with raya? Or did I just love her

"There something I gotta tell you" Nina confessed

All my attention was directed towards her, my eyes found a way to roam her body freely. I wanted to use more than just my eyes but I had to restrain myself.

I didn't understand who I was in love with exactly until I did. I had to control myself around both Nina and raya

"You know how when your mom died. Me, you and rose bought out the whole damn ice cream aisle and bing watched pretty little liars?" She asked with a chuckle

"Yes" I chuckled right after her remembering this memory like it was yesterday

"Being in the military gives me certain communications" she went on "Your mother" she hesitated "Is not dead"

Wait hold on
what is she talking about?

"Nina what are you talking about?" I asked in confusion "I watched her die, I saw her in a coffin, my mother is as good as gone" I admitted

"Let me show you?" She held her hand out for me to take.

I hesitated for a few minutes because if my mother was alive. This would change everything

"Before I take you to her. I need you to know that she isn't the same, she has Alzheimer's so I need you to keep your emotions in check or else you'll scare her."

Alzheimer's? I knew well enough what it was, my grandmother had it and it swallowed her whole. She didn't remember any of us at all and it was a sad thing to watch.

But I didn't care wether or not she remembered me. Well I did but I was more glad at the fact that she was still alive, I still couldn't believe it.

"I don't believe you" I whispered lowly

"I sent you letters but rose said you never read them." She glared at me "maybe next time you will?" She scolded

Rose was not lying though. I never read the letters that Nina sent to me because I was spending most of my time being angry at her for leaving us.

"So let me show you?" Nina asked again

"Okay"

- So, I know this is another short chapter just a little bit longer than the other one. . . . The next chapter will be . . . Promising