You Chose To Love Me (StudxStud) [Completed]

12: Mood Swings

OCTOBER'S P.O.V

It was now the day after roses funeral and things just didn't feel the same anymore nor did they feel normal. All I could think was "karma" this is karma for me trying to get back at rose for cheating on me.

It was all pointless really because even if my plan did work on getting her back for what she did. It wouldnt make me feel better I would still feel like shit knowing that she cheated on me and I would feel even more like shit for stooping to such a level.

The funeral wasn't what I expected. No one was crying but me, roses mom and her family. Everyone else was just completely quiet. To make matters even more weird kyria showed up but obviously I expected her too considering the fact that we all were friends in high school and she did sleep with rose. It was weird because even tho rose was now gone I was still angry with her and kyria for doing what they did even though kyria didn't know about me, it didn't make the situation any better.

What I did know was that I missed her. God, I missed her so much and to be honest it wasn't even the relationship I missed it was our friendship, no matter what happened in our relationship over the years whenever we brokeup we still remained friends no matter the problems we had in our relationship. .

After all of that, rose dying and just everything we've been through period. I decided to move back into thee apartment that me and her shared together because it made me feel like I still had a piece of her there.

This brings me to my current situation.

"What do you mean she's your ex?" I spat

"Baby like I dated her in the past" raya explained

"Nigga..." I turned around giving her a death glare "you told me you haven't dated anybody since me and you were little"

"No I said I haven't loved anyone but you since we were little"

"But you was with this bitch? For how long? 3 years? And you mean to tell me you didnt love her?"

"October you were with rose for 5 years almost 6. So I don't see what the problem is"

"The problem is that this bitch showed up at roses funeral and she didnt even know her and came looking for you. That's disrespectful as fuck" I yelled

Raya looked as if she was about to get mad until her face quickly softened "I know" she agreed "I'm sorry" she had this look on her face that caught me completely off gaurd

"Oh my god, you love her don't you?"

"What?! No"

"Raya don't fucking lie to me. Do I look like I have idiot tattooed on my damn forehead?"

"I thought I did but I realized that I was still in love with you which is why I'm here with you and not her." She sighed "why do I constantly have to prove my love to you" she asked

"Ive been here for you through everything. When rose cheated on you I was your shoulder to cry on, When rose died I was the one who was here for you and went to the funeral with you and kept you together, when you were breaking down last night about what your dad did to you I made sure you were able to go back to sleep without feeling scared."

She paused sitting on the bed as she put her face into her hands before looking back up at me "and last but not least I love you even knowing that you still love rose and probably always will. I know that you had a bond with her that I could never understand and yet" she paused again before getting up and cupping my face "I AM STILL HERE" she yelled "Do you hear me? I.. Am.. Still... Here" she sounded each word out slowly

I didn't know how to respond to that. I was lost for words because raya was right, she had been there for me through everything and still is. She had been my rock and I was simply being selfish and jealous over an irrelevant girl she didn't even love or care about.

Tears fell down my face and I felt like a little weak bitch. I was never the type to cry in front of people unless I was really hurt. Raya has definitely seen me cry before but she had been back in my life for almost 5 months now and I still felt like I could loose her and even though I always had my guard up that's something I did not want and probably couldn't handle right now due to everything that's been going on.

Raya wrapped her arms around me tightly as I sobbed into her chest. "I love you" I croaked out

"I love you too and I know you probably feel bad for loving me back because of rose but know that she would want you to be happy the best way you know how and if you need time. I'm patient I don't mind waiting"

That night we ended up cuddling on the couch together watching one of our favorite movies "Deadpool" let's just say that I ended up feeling a little better. All thanks to raya, I have to give it to her through all my mood swings and my lashing outs she still managed to stick by my side.

I will admit that I'm afraid to be with anyone else after rose. I wouldn't be able to take loosing someone like that again but I knew I needed to give raya the benefit of the doubt and stop being afraid so I could actually give her a chance.

She said she'd wait on me and I was definitely counting on it.