You Chose To Love Me (StudxStud) [Completed]

18: Panic Attack

RAYA'S P.O.V

"I don't know if I believe this" I admitted to Jessie

"I'll take you there"

And that's pretty much how we ended up sitting in front of the nursing home.... it was around 5 o'clock in the afternoon and I was a bit nervous.

My mind was everywhere. I was curious as to who else knew about this.

Because If I dont tell October she'll be mad and if I do tell her she could get mad. So it was 50/50

"Does anyone else know about this?" I asked

"No"

Jessie's eyes traveled up to my face, as a confused and sad expression crossed hers.

"Well Nina" she said

I chose to ignore the last part cause my mind kept wondering back to October. I hadn't seen her in almost 2 days due to the fact that she left me at her house and if she did come back looking for me I wouldnt be there.

I looked through my phone as I found her number and texted her

My forever: I miss you ❤

I kept telling myself that things were okay with me and October but I honestly didn't think so at all. She had became distant, truth be told we aren't as close as we were when we were little. We were much older now and things aren't like how they use to be when we were 13

The worst thought came to mind: was I loosing her? was I slowly letting October slip from my grasp? If so I had to make it right.

I cannot loose her- no! I will not loose her and that's a promise. I'm going to protect her and love her by any means necessary.

"Do you want to go inside?" Jessie asked interrupting my thoughts

I nodded my head a few times as I made my way inside. Jessie grabbed my hand quickly locking it with hers and squeezing it with a unknown expression on her face.

She pulled me into a dark empty room-closet? I'm not sure. I heard heavy breathing and short breaths as the light flickers on, Jessie has her eyes closed as she held one hand over her chest her body bent over slightly as she kept breathing frantically

"Jessie?" I spoke calmly "are you okay?"

She didn't respond sooner she was on her knees her breathing quickening in short breaths.

Wait- what? Is she having a-

"Is this a panic attack?" I asked "you don't have to talk I just need you to nod for me"

She nodded her head twice in a yes motion.

"Okay okay" I thought "calm down think about something that makes you happy" I suggested "and take slow breathes. The more you freak out the worse the panic attack will be"

But it was like Jessie couldn't hear me at all her face started to turn pale as tears were about to spill out of her eyes.

"Jessie, Hold your breathe!" I yelled "Hold it!" I yelled again

But it was like she still couldn't hear a word I was saying like she was zoning out or better yet freaking out..

Okay think of something raya, don't be stupid, you got this

That's when I did the stupidest thing I could possibly think of

I kissed her. I kissed Jessie for a long ass time, I brought my lips against hers and I tried to stop myself and to break away from the kiss but my body wouldn't allow it.

What the fuck is happening? Wtf did I just do?

Then I broke away from the kiss while jessie stared at me wideyed, her hand went up to her lips as she brushed over it and a loud gasp came out of her mouth.

"W-what was that f-for?" She asked still in shock

"You were having a panic attack" I say like it's nothing

"O- Kay" she responds in a wtf tone

"So when I kissed you, you held your breath" I explained "therefore stopping your panic attack"

"Really? I didn't notice" she laughed

Her eyes found mine as she gave my arm a hard and painful pinch. I yelped in pain as I gave her the dirtiest look I could muster up.

"That" she pointed between me and her "can never happen again" she finished

"I know dummy" I laughed "I only did it to stop your panic attack"

"Mmm" she hummed "Let's go" she yelled pulling me out the closet practically dragging me to the nearest room.

She's getting a little too touchy

---

OCTOBER'S P.O.V

My mother couldn't be alive. I knew this for a fact, I found her body when she died she had no pulse.

W-we had a funeral for fuck sakes
her body laid in a fucking casket

It took nina atleast the whole car ride to convince me my mother was still alive and even then I still didn't believe her. Which brings us to our current situation

We pulled up at a nursing home, the best fucking one in the country. If she was alive I'd assume she's being taken well care of.

Nina came to the passenger side of the car as she opened it holding her hand out to me.

"You ready?" She asked

Fuck no! Hello no!

My stomach begins to twist in turn as I swallow the lump in my throat.

"Y-yes" I stutter out

Well here goes nothing