Picking Up the Pieces // Harry Styles

Twenty Eight

surprise updateeee :D

thank @diana_alexa14 guys. she's perf. da queen. diaannnaaaa. okay. i'm going to shut up now. i sound stupid.

let's see what will happen to our Scarlett, shall we? ;)

Twenty Eight

Scarlett's POV

I was shaking and sobbing by the time I reached the bridge. Paloma's strong voice faded out as Florence began to sing. She wailed and cried about her innermost pain. My heart was pounding as I reached my destination. I parked Harry's car on the side and looked at the railing of the brdige before me. This was the ledge I'd climb up on and eventually fall down. 

I heard about Midnight Bridge. I remember hearing stories of suicide and heartbreak happened here. I remembered reading the newspaper and reading about another troubled soul seeking comfort from the waters beneath them. 

I'd be another story. I'd join my troubled brothers and sister in the afterlife.

This would be where it all ended. There was no turning back. I forced myself to prop myself up onto the ledge. I needed to be quick. I had to get this over with. It was my only escape.

I'd always wanted to fly. Today, I'd get my wings. 

I sat down on the edge at first, simply holding the hem of my white cotton dress which by now was drenched with my tears. Never would I have ever thought I'd go out like this. Never did I think I'd give into the sad state they call depression.

But it all made sense. I'd been carrying this bitterness because I realized the truth. I was diagnosed with boderline personality disorders and was known for having strange behavior. I was confused of who I was and unstable mentally and emotionally. I wasn't a beautiful mess. I was just a mess. 

A screw up. A perfectionst who never obtained perfection. 

I learned the hard way. 

The voice of a monster creeped in between my lips and spoke freely without my permission. 

"I learned that not everyone will love you," I recited, staring down at the deep, midnight blue water. "I learned love only makes things worse. I learned that this is all a game. It's a trap." I began to laugh like the maniac I was. "This is all a test! Yes! It's a stimulation. How long does it take to break the average teenage girl? Is four years enough to make her normal again?" I laughed and laughed, feeling insane as I clenched my hands around the wires that held the bridge this way. I had it all figured out. Yes, oh yes.

I was a god. 

My body felt like it was slowly coming undone. It was like pulling a loose thread in your clothing. That's precisely how I felt. I was slipping and slipping away into a dark place. I'd been broken, hurt, and forever wounded. It'd take too much thread and needles to fix me. No one had the time to sit down and put me back together again. 

I was Humpty Dumpty. I'd fallen. I'd fallen hard and I would never be put together again. I was perfectly okay with that. 

Harry wanted to fix you. The pacifist inside me whispered. This hope was something I wasn't used to at all. I growled and screamed in anger. The voices were exactly why I was here today. 

"I'm impossible!" I shouted into oblivion. "I-Impossible."

My favorite song played over and over again on repeat as I tiptoed to the middle of the bridge. Never Let Me Go by the fabulous Florence + the Machine was simply my song. I wasn't giving up. I was giving into the pain. Looking back as a small child, I was so happy. Not a care in the world.