Chapter 28: Emotions

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My eyes widened as I see Grayson, in the rain, standing in front of me. I stare at him. He's dressed in black, his shirt, his pants, his shoes. He's totally soaked because of the weather. There are bags under his eyes, making me understand that he didn't sleep proprely lately. His eyes are red. He's...wasted ? Or he was wasted.

He looks miserable. Not because he was wasted but because he's sad. He seems so..fragile. He doesn't look like the rough man, I met. His upper lip is slightly trembling and his stare is deep.

Only in his eyes, I can see sadness, stress.

He had cried.

Surprising me, he pulls me into a tight hug. I stay frozen. What is happening?I, finally, hug back, knowing he needs that. He needs me. He needs help. He needs to talk.

What happened ?

I smell his familiar scent, reminding me of every single moment spent with him. Every single good moment. All the passion, fun, we lived.

"Charlotte" he whispers and I'm ready to cry. His voice was so low, so tiny, so..broken. Something happened. He had suffered.The way he said my name, made me understand that He needed me.

"Gr-Grayson" I whisper back. I wished that I had to never let go but he pulled away and ran his hand through his hair, frustrated.

"I-I" he started, looking like he was ready to cry again, “Fuck..I-I don't even Know what i'm doing here” Without any warning, he ran away, going back to his house.

"Grayson !!!" I shouted but he wouldn't turn around.

I stayed there, during a second, trying to think about what happened. I felt the need to understand. To Know what was putting him in that mood. I had never seen him like that and it was horribly heart-breaking. I ran to his house, entering it without knocking. I knew Grayson well enough to be able to say that he leaves his door, most of the time, open.

I entered it, totally wet because of the rain, and entered Grayson's room. He was on the edge of his bed, holding his head with his hands.

He was depressed.

He snapped his head to my direction.
"w-what are you doing here ?"

"I-I..I want to Know..need to Know what's going on".

"It's none of you're business !" he shouted, looking at me with his red and puffy eyes.

"Fuck, Grayson" I curse, "Pleas-"

"No ! Get out !"

"Grayson !"

"Get out or-or I'll"

"you'll what ?" I asked, lowering my voice, doing my best to keep him calm. He didn't respond and burried his face in his hands again.

I was paralyzed. I didn't Know what to do or how to handle him. I stayed like that, during a few seconds, maybe even minutes, watching him. Staring at him.

I took a step towards him and he looked up to me. Then another one, and when I realized he was calm, I sat next to him. Stressed, and worried.

"Grayson"

"Charlotte...I"

"Tell me. Tell me everything, please don't push me away" I mumble, making him looking at me. When his eyes meet mine, I can help but gasp. His eyes lost their color.

We stayed like that for a long time. Hours and hours, staring at each other. Me, trying to understand and him, certainly trying to decide if he should open up or not.

"My father died"

Three little words and I could feel my heart sink. I could try to feel every emotion he was feeling. I could feel so much pain. He was so young and lost his father. These three words didn't just break the silence but my heart too.

"I..I never got to tell him good-bye. Charlotte, I Know i'm fucked up. We..we left under bad terms. The last words I told him was «I don't care, fuck you» and he didn't say anything back. I'm a monster and I can't apologize. It's too late. He hates me. Ethan, mom, grand-ma...they were All trying to bring us back together but they All knew that I was a lost case. I never got to thank him. Yes, he was absent during half of my life and I hated him for that but he-he still was my father. I..it's too late. I fucked everything up. Everyone hates me. I'm..hatefull, fuck, I Know it" he explained while I was doing my best to catch up. I was also doing my best to keep myself from crying. Grayson was truly Broken.

His father.

He lost him.

"Don't tell me you're sorry, please. I can't stand pity. Tell me the truth. I'm disgusting. I'm-I'm" he took a deep breath, "Talk to me Charlotte. Insult me. Say something."

"You're far from being hatefull Grayson. You don't even realize."

"Why..why didn't I get the chance to tell him bye ?" he asks, a tear rolling down his cheek, "Why didn't I get the chance to hear him say the words he always said to Ethan but never to me ? «I'm proud of you son» ! Am I this bad ?! Of course I am. I'll always Be. I hate pain and I'm trying to get away from it. I try to..." he looked down for a second then back, up to me, "I feel so alone. So wrong. So fucked up. So..hate-"

I cut him by taking his face and kissing him. It lasted two seconds, then I pulled away. During these two seconds, I felt everything I needed to feel since such a long time. I felt butterflies, everything. I looked at him and he stayed silent, looking at me. He, then, looked at my lips and kissed me.

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HAD TO UPDATE TWICE BECAUSE JDKESNJSSB THINGS ARE HAPPENING

ITS 4.AM. GUYS AND I REALLY WANTED TO WRITE THIS PART. PLEASE GIVE IT SOME LOVE 💓❤💓❤💓😭😭😭😭

GOOD NIGHT

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