Olivia
After Harry leaves his room this morning I quickly jump up and go to the bathroom. I don't want to think about everything he just told me but it's kind of impossible. He basically had to save me from getting drugged at a club because I was too stupid to realize what was happening. He saved my ass. I'm so grateful that he was there but that only makes me that much more confused. Why would he take care of me after I basically told him to stay out of my life the night of my birthday? He deserved it for what he did but still, I haven't been pleasant to him and he is still looking out for me. Why?
I don't even remember trying to get him to sleep with me. I don't know why I did that. Last night I was so angry with him. What changed? Why did I completely let go of that? I will admit he did look good. But he always looks good. It's no secret that I've let myself lose control and let my hormones take over with him more than a few times. Was that what happened? I was just so attracted to him that I let go of all of my anger? Did I channel that anger into trying to seduce him? I don't even know. I was so wasted that I'm missing hours of my life. That isn't ok. I'm grateful that Harry saved me, from that guy and myself apparently too but I'm embarrassed. He saw me naked just a few hours ago. How am I supposed to act normal after that? I just want to get home and waste away in my misery alone but I know he's going to continue this nice guy thing. Forcing me to eat breakfast and insisting on taking me home himself. I figure I might as well get it over with.
After I pee, splash some water on my face and brush my teeth with some of his toothpaste and my finger I wander back out into the massive room. I pull on the shorts he gave me but they won't stay up. Maybe I can find a hair tie or something to tie them. I go back to the bathroom and search through the drawers but come up short. When I spot his nightstand I figure maybe he has some in there. It's a risky place to look through but I'm kind of desperate. I give it a shot anyways but still come up short. But there is a small leather bound book inside that catches my interest. Liam had a similar notebook like this for song writing. Maybe this is Harry's. I know I shouldn't look but I can't resist taking a peak.
His small slanted handwriting is almost impossible to read. The way I have to squint to read it makes my already pounding head ache even more. But I keep reading anyways. The thick book is almost filled with his scrawl. He's meticulous about writing everything down apparently. He has at least something written for almost every day, some days more than one entry. I'm just flipping through, skimming the pages. But when I see my name it stops me in my tracks.
Lou's cousin Olivia moved in today. She's even better looking in person than in her pictures but Lou already warned me not to go there unfortunately. Even so, I can tell she's going to fit right in with us. I can't wait to get to know her more. I can just tell she has a beautiful soul. She's someone you want to get to know.
It's a simple few sentences but it piques my interest. So he thought I was good looking. And he said I have a beautiful soul. Who even says stuff like that? A beautiful soul. What does that even mean? Maybe if I keep reading I'll find out. As I skim through I see my name pop up more and more frequently. He writes about our little Sunday ritual a few times with the thrift shopping and the book store. It makes me smile remembering how much fun we had back then. It was so simple and easy. It was something I always looked forward to, even after I started dating Grant I made time for him. But it's sour now because that fairy tale book is tied to those days. I'm still so mad at him for that. He used something personal to try to manipulate me. I know he's doing what he can to fix things between us. I know he still loves me. I still love him. But as it stands it would take something huge to make me trust him again.
As I continue to flip through the journal I can't help but get sucked in deeper. After my accident I see a clear difference in what he's writing. He's really worried about me. More worried than a friend should be. When he realizes it I can't help but pour over every word.
