Chapter 21 - Jasmine's Surprise Attack

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Jasmine felt tired, and most of all weak. She had not eaten, of course, with these unplanned things happening to her tonight, delaying her from her energy resources.

She didn’t mind at the moment. She didn’t want to be a monster anymore and feeding certainly didn’t help her self-esteem. Anyway, starving herself was a good punishment for now. She probably just wanted it all over and done with.

            She had not been able to do her work in life at all. She was a screw up, a complete mess. She was a disgrace to the vampire population. She wasn’t strong, but a weak shy little vulnerable vampire. Oh, how would the Elders feel if they saw her in such a bad position, she thought feebly?

            This day was messed up. Her feelings were messed up. She’d never felt this way before except once, and she really didn’t want to remember that time. She didn’t like feeling so vulnerable and helpless because of one person. She certainly didn’t want to relive the same events. That was a time she wished she could forget.

            She felt horrible. She’d destroyed a large number of lives in less than a week and, the worst thing was, it was all for herself. Everything she had done was for herself. She was so selfish. The word stung her. It had to stop. She didn’t want to be a selfish vampire any longer. She was going to change, or she was going to try and die. Either way was going to be difficult.

            Jasmine knew what Zak was building up to do. Then again, in spite of this, she didn’t seem at all excited. For some reason she didn’t want it to happen anymore. She’d done 502 years of living, sixteen of them only properly lived. 486 years if vampirism, and for what? What had she achieved by living?

Nothing.

Why had she carried on?

Who knows.

All Jasmine knew was that she didn’t want to live anymore. Her life was well and truly over. She didn’t want to watch people who she loved pass on anymore. Not anymore. It was time. She wanted to die. She was no longer going to wreck lives for herself. It was going to be better for herself, the world and the people who lived there if she just left.

            Zak leaned in towards her. She could feel his breath on her face, smell his wonderful scent. It pulled at her senses. It was such a wonderful addictive obsessive smell that she felt as if she couldn’t live without it. She lapped it up and enjoyed the sensation. It was better than most of the other smells she’d ever come across, that was for sure.

            They were so close they were almost touching. His eyes were piercing, pulling at her. He moved closer, almost nose to nose, before lightly closing his eyes. She held her breath and held still as his hand reached to her cheek. She couldn’t help but be happy in a way, though she wasn’t really. It was such a temptation. His lips were so close, everything she wanted was so close. He breathed in before his lips parted.

            He didn’t get the chance, though, to kiss her, for she backed away sharply, moving out of his grasp. It had taken all her will power to do so. He opened his eyes and stared at her confused and in wonder.

“I can’t.” She whispered and shook her head at him, tears welling in her eyes. She blinked them back.

He breathed out and sort of relaxed a bit more, still watching her but almost tiredly now.

“This isn’t fair.” She said.

            She turned around and ambled over to Gems, who took the vampire’s hand quizzically, confusion etched in her eyes just like it was in Zak‘s. Jasmine led Gems over to the dumbfounded Zak and turned them face to face. They stood there limply and slightly uncomfortable.

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