Changing Relations ✔

Chapter 27

Time heals everything. It just takes forever. I feel better each day, but then all of a sudden without any reason, it comes back, the feeling of emptiness...

It's been a month since he left for his trip and full two months of our wedding. Allahamdulilah I have everything. I should be happy. But Im not. At night when I'm all alone, I wanna cry. I feel so alone. And I hate to say this but I'm missing him terribly.

We knew this marriage wasn't perfect, neither for him nor for me. When Zain first floated the idea of five weeks apart I felt sure that it was too long. Wouldn't our relationship start to fade, sour - or quietly unravel? I imagined the worst. If, I asked myself, he could manage for that long on his own, would he ever want to return?

And assuming he did come home, wouldn't he secretly prefer to be sailing the seven seas, building up his reputation and eating out as a matter of course? More to the point, wouldn't our marriage be in tatters by his return???

But I was catastrophizing and I knew it. Our marriage, though far from perfect, had the odd crack. But it had endured so far. And I had no reason to think that this occasion would be different. Besides, I had little time to fret. I was extremely busy with my own little baby.

He and I, accepted the way things were. In his mind it was that I had made a choice. Everyone thinks that we are living the life like a normal couple, with one wonderful child in a house that we both adored. A life that, sadly, that didn't exist.

To be fair, nothing in my education or surrounding had led me to aspire to a life with a child and a husband in the middle of it. Just like every young woman I knew, I was keen to pursue a career, not a family. Having a family, if I ever got round to having one - and a question mark hung over this - would complement my life. It never occurred to me that it could ever become my life.

The other side of the coin, which I think explains a lot, is that the day when I first walked in his house as his bride. From that day I became intensely domestic. I discovered that I really did care about the quality of our home life. Starting a family realized a potential in me that had been there all along. It may sound like a line from a magazine, but I took real pleasure in closing the curtains at the end of the day and expanding into our little world.

I stayed on the bed, like that for sometime. For some reason the house was quiet. The wind picked up, causing branches to dance across the window, one tapping on our thin pane as if asking to be let in. Adeel was trying to eat his rattle while continuously kicking his legs.

I got up and made feeder for him. After he finished drinking, we both went down, to find no one. It was ten in the morning, where is mama? I called her straightaway.

"Hello" she picked up.

"Mama, where are you?"

"Sugar, I've come to meet some of my friends and then your dad is taking me somewhere, so we'll be late. And I thought, you must be sleeping, so I didn't disturbed you." She said.

"Oh okay, Enjoy. Have fun!!" I said and hang up.

"Hmm, so Adeel, today only you and me!! What shall we do?? Umm...why not let's start our day from cleaning you" I said to Adeel and he made a very bad face. Let me tell you, he just hates bathing!!!

Bathing him is a very big task. Phew!! Finally it was done. After he was fully ready, I called one of the maids and told them to take care of him so that I can freshen up. After freshening up, I kept on deciding what should I wear. Dad and Mama are not gonna come soon, so I picked out my Capri, Off white tank top and a cream colored shrug!! I quickly blow dried my hair and just kept them open.

When I went down I saw Adeel was in a very jolly mood, Masha Allah.

"I hope he didn't troubled you much?? I asked as I took him in my arm.

"No Mam, not at all. In fact, he was playing" She said pinching his cheeks.

"Ohkay, Thank you" I said.

"You're Welcome" she replied and smiled. "Mam?"

"Yeah" I said turning around.

"Would you like to have something?" She asked.

"Umm...Coffee will be perfect!!" I smiled

"Sure" she said and left.

I went to my room and laid down a little beside Adeel. Checked my mails, red few magazines, drank my coffee. We both were feeling damn bored so Just to lighten up a little, I started playing some soft tunes on my lappy. When I heard the tune it was just perfect, not so strong, but just enough to make me tingle and start to move my body.

To dance over the floor barefoot was a pleasure my new life forbade me. I was a girl no longer and new standards were expected. The life ahead was all obligation, duty and a deference that never sat well with my soul. It is bad enough I can't fly with the birds? I think that's why I did it - danced in the daylight with my hair swinging from side to side.

Adeel was laughing and even attempted to clap also. If anyone would have seen me, must have thought that I've gone mad!! Foolishly dancing away on just a random tune which has no connection at all with the dance. I laughed at my own foolishness, while Adeel laughed even more with me. Masha Allah.

"No, no one will think that you've gone mad!! You were just enjoying" I froze. My breathing increased as I felt the tingling sensation on my whole body. That voice, boomed across the room. It was a voice to sink in as it wraps you up. I could listen to it all day.

It was his voice.
He was back...

Assalamualaikum my beautiful readers. How are you all? The blessed month is here.. Ramadan Kareem to all of you. Make lots of dua, ask for lots of forgiveness and do remember me in you prayers.

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