Chapter 27 "Trying to make you feel good"

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"I just want you to hear this, I was up all the time writing this." "No, thank you." He shook his head and started to strum the guitar.

"oh, oh, just as sure as the stars in the sky,I need you to show me the light,
Not just for the meanwhile, for a long long time
Better believe it,"

And so he went on. His singing reminded me of the first time I trusted him and actually meant it. I remember saying those words 'I trust you' and him saying the same back...I remembered telling him everything about my family while we were in London, I remembered every detail of every time we hung out now and then. But I still wasn't sure if I could forgive him, because my heart was telling me no.

"You're all that matters to me, yeah, yeah,
Ain't worried about nobody else
If it ain't you, I ain't myself
You make me complete"

He made it more than obvious, that he was singing it from the bottom of his heart and I believed every word he sang. I listened carefully. I remember when he sang to me for the first time, after we talked about our families and shared our struggle stories. Everything's gonna be alright...

I was looking at his face the whole time. He looked so broken, so lost, so sad... I had never seen him like this. I've seen him at his bad days, but he never looked this hurt. Only now I realized, with hurting myself, I was hurting the others. Not only Justin was hurting, but Ryan wasn't looking happy himself, after all he is Justin's best friend, they're like brothers and Ryan is also like a brother to me. Everyone of our friends, of course, wanted us to make up faster, but did they know the truth?

Soon, Justin was done and out of breath. "Do you believe me now? I know, I shouldn't be forgiven, but at least, don't hurt yourself, I should deserve it all. I make things wrong, it's because I've lost myself in all this fame and I can't find a way back. I've been making so many mistakes and the worst part is, I've been hurting and disappointing the ones I love, my beliebers and especially - you. I don't know what to do anymore. If you want to, you can go, I've done everything I wanted and needed. You'll probably move on and soon someone better will fall for you and you'll live happily together, with someone who actually treats you right, like a princess. I should just die alone. You shouldn't love such a mess..."

"Justin," the word slipped out of my mouth, and so did the whole thought, "I'm also a mess and that's what makes us so attracted to each-other." Justin furrowed his eyebrows and looked up at me with a little bit of hope in his eyes. "I understand you've messed up a lot, I have messed up a lot too, everyone has. But every relationship has ups and downs. There are going to be problems, even if it feels like heaven. You hurt me, but as you sang, you make me complete. I'm not myself whenever you're not here."

"You're my way back to finding myself, the real me, the one I've lost in the past. I've lived trough this all feeling totally empty and whenever I've found someone, I've lost it too. You're my treasure, you were the one I was always looking for. Life made us meet for a reason, so we could learn from each-other."

"And I've learned one thing for sure, we've made a lot of mistakes we shouldn't be forgiven, but if we don't forgive we won't be ourselves." He placed the guitar down and walked closer to me. My breath inched. His hot breathing on my neck sending shivers down my spine. "I love you and I always will." Justin whispered. Those words made me unsure, even if they meant so much. He cupped my cheeks in his hands, I looked up in his eyes, as he was a bit taller than me. He leaned closer and made our lips meet. I didn't kiss back, I was feeling the moment. I was feeling his lips on mine which I was used to feel whenever I wanted to. I kissed back, as Justin felt it, he deepened the kiss and nothing would ever feel more right. These two days have felt like the worst nightmare.

Maybe it was because, when I met Justin, he made me happy, he made me forget about my troubled past, because he was my future. I finally felt happy after two years of being miserable, broken, sad and hurt. And now, I was back to my past, feeling the same, which scared me. But nothing is perfect. It just makes us stronger. What he did, was definitely not acceptable, he could of talked with me first, but we'll get through it, hopefully. The future is a surprise and you can never guess what it's holding for us.

"Let's go to mine?" He asked. I nodded. He unlocked the doors and walked out, leading me before him, he locked them and we went to the elevator. He carefully touched my arm and got a hold of my hand. I squeezed it as we stepped in to the elevator. As the doors closed, I kissed his cheek. "Sometimes you just need to let out everything, that's bothering you. There are no problems without resolutions." "Will do," he smiled and kissed my lips. That smille...that smile could bright the whole world up, that smile could end world hunger and cure cancer, that smile...just saved me.

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Finally, a new chapter. I'll probably write the next chapter at the end of this week, which is soon. (:

I know, this chapter is also a bit depressing, but I tried to make it smart, inspirational and at the same time sweet, tried to put some qoutes made up by myself, so I really hope you liked it. I worked probably my hardest on this. Excuse any typos, vote and comment.

Oh, and if any of you guys have an instagram, follow my personal - @samantapaulaa

Love you. <3

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