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Title: Your title seems okay, I guess. I don't exactly understand it, maybe because the meaning will be understood later during the course of the story.
Summary: Here's the screenshot of your summary.
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The summary, to be honest, seems perfect. I don't have anything to rectify in it. This kind of summary is the first step to attract reason and you did a great job at it!
Chapter 1: Okay, so I seriously like how the story is going. I couldn't decide much about the characters or the story in this chapter as it was only the first one.
Chapter 2: The pace of the story seems near about perfect! The pace neither seems too slow nor too fast that a reader wouldn't understand what's going on. Great job! Also, the amount of descriptions doesn't hinder the story pace either. They almost seem to complement each other. Again, great job. Also, can't say much as I was introduced to another new character in this chapter. Another thing, Jake and Anna were quite entertaining. Lol.
Chapter 3: So, the fun starts to begin here (Hehe :p). Mason seems to be the brain of pair. The thrill of the story seems to build up more. I was actually waiting to read this chapter after they ran off. So, you generated right amount of curiosity by adding Melanie's POV in the second chapter.
Chapter 4: First, I seriously need to complement you. The way you incorporate descriptions in your story is perfect! I need to borrow this skill from you. Also, this chapter was great! The action in this chapter had my curiosity piqued and I was having actual fun reading it. The loyality of Mason and Blake to each other are goals. The chapter seemed realistic enough to not make me question if this can happen or not.
Chapter 5: Great! Just great! Though, I do not feel much connected to Melanie or Haley till now, but still, I liked these characters. Mason and Melanie are so close! Also, Blake is such a fun person! Haley and Blake seemed quite connected too. Again, Jake and Anna were the topic of laughter here. The way incorporate various emotions in the story is awesome! Loved it!
Grammar: Okay, so I didn't find many mistakes here. Lol. Your grammar seems great. I need this skill too. Hehe.
Characters: Okay, so I was feeling quite connected to Mason and Blake and maybe I will feel a deeper connection if I read more. Melanie and Haley were quite relatable too. There wasn't much character development as that happens only as the story progresses, so I can't say much about development, but either way, you were able to forge the connection of a reader to the book which is great!
My advice: I got none.
My views: The story is great. I can easily rate it 9 out of 10. Also, I love the way you write! So keep going. I don't know why your story doesn't have the amount of views it deserves, but I still like your story. I wish you all the luck for your story and your upcoming projects!
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To be honest, I kind of feel bad that I can't help you much, but there wasn't much to help with in the case. :p
—Have a great time ahead! :D
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