The Boys Dream

38 5 5
                                    


I am, in no shape, a professional. I give the review as a reader and not as a writer. Excuse the typos, please.

Book: The Boys Dream.


Author: IslandApricot


Before I go any further, I would like to tell you something. YOU ARE AH-MAY-ZING! Lol. Why, you may ask. Its because I saw a lot, and by a lot I mean A LOT, of improvement in your writings. According to me, those are the best who accept and correct their mistakes, and you are one. You go, girl! So this time around, I will give you different tips than I gave earlier. 'Kay?


Title: Title seems good, I would just suggest to try and change it once your book is finished (as you would have more ideas for better titles around then) as it seems a bit common. (Says the girl whose own book has the most common title ever. I plan to change it though. :p ) Also, its wrong. It should be either The Boy's Dream or if its plural then The Boys' Dream.


Blurb: A screenshot of your blurb is below:

Blurb: A screenshot of your blurb is below:

Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.





So, its a bit sketchy. Let me give you an example as I will clearing some of the grammatical errors and other unneeded things in the blurb.

"I am not like everyone else,"

Cyril Maybird is blind and deaf. He has a dream to be able to see and hear one day, and believes that this dream of his will come true, even though many say that 'Dreams don't come true.'

Lying on his death bed, all alone and happy to be able to see and hear, he questions himself as to why a twelve year old is thinking about death when it should have been far away. (I am not sure about this one, I think you should remove this one and add something else since I can't do it as I am not the author and I don't know the story.)

Kalama Zepeda, the adoptive father of Cyril, is an African-American who is an unfortunate prey of racism.

Justin Trujillo, an Asian, who proudly works at Divine Instructor for Disabilities has been assigned a new, but difficult, case.

Cyril Maybird is Justin's New case.

In the whirlwind of drama, that are their lives, these three clash in the most unimaginable of ways possible. Faced by various demons of their own, and society's as well, would they be able to fight through it all, or would they fall apart?

Is this any better? Lol. Idk myself.

Chapter-1: Okayyyy, so the chapter was nice. Good going. In the blurb, you mentioned that he works at the institute, mention it indirectly as well, in this chapter. That's it.

Chapter-2: So here comes my question. Cyril is twelve year old, yeah? I hadn't gotten the hint of how he learnt English and Grammar and all. It must have been difficult. It would have been good if you had just mentioned it, as some people (only dumb ones, including me) get confused. Lol. Otherwise, I love the chapter and how you expressed Cyril. Great job!

The Review Center [ OPEN]Where stories live. Discover now