Man's Breath

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I am in no shape a professional. I am giving a review as a reader and not as a writer. Excuse the typos, if any.



Book: Man's Breath.



Author: IslandApricot


So here we go,


Cover: I am crap at the cover thing, to be honest, but I actually really like your cover. I can't give you anything professional, but its a good start. People like me, who don't know a thing about covers, would be probably more attracted to your book.




Title: I can't say much about the title, except that it is unique, as I just read the starting and the importance of title hasn't emerged.




Blurb: Here, is the screenshot of your Blurb:

Blurb: Here, is the screenshot of your Blurb:

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This is where you lack a bit. Readers can only be attracted to a better constructed, to the point blurb. Not to offend you or anything, but there are a lot of things thrown at readers in your blurb. When I first read the it, I didn't catch a thing. So, the question is, how to write a blurb:

1. Establish the situation.

2. Introduce a problem.

3. Introduce a hopeful possibility.

4. Set the mood for the story.

The last three lines of your blurb were perfect, but as you see, you have many unneeded things in your story blurb. Try to rectify it with the help of the points I gave you. I wasn't very good at this either, I just saw some videos where this was told. So I am just the knowledge. Maybe you can write something like this,

Elan, the Prince of Courthaven, may seem normal at first, but he is special. Very special indeed, as he has the power to time travel.

Considered as a 'warlock' and a threat, Faust, a shapeshifter, has been kicked out of his own village.

Dover, a merman, is the heir to the throne of Ceresh.

This all may seem nothing, but what will happen when Courthaven declares a war against Ceresh? Irrevocably involved in the most unwanted of the situations, the two best friends, Dover and Elan, have to face unimaginable situations. But after all of this, would their friendship survive?

Elan, Dover and Faust have tons of trouble in their hands, the world is spinning, Elan's parents want to kill, and a new world discovered by Elan maybe paradise to the three of them...

BUT is a threat to everyone else.

Better? You can change it however you like with better words and all, but don't add the unneeded things. Let the readers feel the suspense of it and discover the other things in the story itself.

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