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The Suicide Drifters

BOOK: The Suicide Drifters

AUTHOR: @WhySwingSet

TITLE: I love your title! I think it really suits your story.

COVER: I like your cover but it's really dark making the words hard to see. From far away it didn't appeal to me as a reader. I suggest a different font in white.

SUMMARY:

Your summary need more build up. You need to build your characters, make it less bland. Make it so people want to read your story more.

What I suggest (as always):

People always assume that guys can't get depressed because of the good old stereotype that reeks havoc on their minds.

Wyatt (last name) proves them wrong after his failed suicide attempt. He's kept under strict watchful eyes to keep him "safe". That is, until he meets Sofia (last name), a (insert trait, insert trait, etc) girl that changes Wyatt's perception of everything.

CHARACTERS:
- Wyatt: I feel so bad for him.
- Sofia: I love her confidence and how outgoing she is.

RUSHED: Your story is rushed. In the first chapter A LOT of events happen. There's a lot more telling than showing. Also, Wyatt seems to open up to Sofia really fast, which I feel would take a bit more time. Next, Wyatt tried to kill himself but he wasn't diagnosed with depression or anything in the hospital? The doctors would've looked for that, I'm guessing. Maybe his parents would've looked for a inpatient center where he could stay and rehabilitate?

PLOT: I think the idea of your plot is that a girl saves a guy from himself, which is basically the reverse of a LOT of books on Wattpad. I think the plot is good, but I have a few problems with it. Mostly it's the fact that really the only person who should be able to save Wyatt is himself. He has to want to be alive & overcome his depression. That's all I have to say about that.

DESCRIPTIONS: Some parts you do a great job at describing and others you do more telling.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: I love the idea of your story because you're right, there's a stigma that men can't be depressed. I think that your characters need more substance. Wyatt needs to be more than just his depression/suicide attempt. More of his personality needs to shine through! Same with Sofia.

HOW FAR I GOT: chapter 4

OTHER:
- was i hooked: yes
- would i keep reading: not sure

ADVICE: write on! make sure to add substance to your characters to make them more!

My questions for you:
- was this helpful?
- was i too harsh? sometimes I feel too brutal or not enough! just let me know.
- were you offended?

Please PM or comment if you have any questions about your review! You are free to request from me again! :)

Thank you,

— dreamfloats