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Unbreak Me

COVER: it's pretty good, I have nothing bad to say about it!

TITLE: seems a little cliché, but I guess it fits the book. Titles are never permanent!

SUMMARY:

Personally, I think the summary is average. I don't know, but I feel like the broken girl and new boy trying to save her is just average. Parker doesn't sound like anything interesting, he's just there to save Ellen.

Here's what I suggest:
Ellen Bloom hasn't always been the girl who everyone despised--in fact, at one point, she'd been well-liked by all her peers. Now, however, her only refuge is hiding behind tall books and spending time with her best friend, Rose. On the outside she puts up a strong front, but on the inside she's shattered and her pieces have no idea how to mend on their own. She was once happy, but now, after what happened to her changed her life forever, all her tears have dried up.

Parker Ryan hates being the new guy, especially at Amber High where all the girls seem to drop their panties when he walks by. He doesn't care about the girls pining after him. For Parker is chasing after Ellen Bloom, the girl who has enough emotional baggage for six people.

From where they both stand, happily-ever-after is far from them. They have to fight for once glimpse of happiness in their sea of misery.

Then again, you don't have take my advice. It's only a suggestion.

CHARACTERS:
Ellen: I think she's average, nothing makes her stand out yet. She doesn't seem to really appreciate Rose that much? I'm not sure.
Rose: I don't know her enough to give an honest opinion.
Parker: he seems hella cute.

So in chapter 2 Ellen gets punched in the face by Brittany? That seems just a tad bit unrealistic (I know i know this is fiction).

RUSHED: hmm, I'm not really sure. I think it's a little slow at times, but I'm not sure where the plot is leading up too and what the climax is going to be.

DESCRIPTIONS: you do a great job at describing your characters emotions but their surroundings could be worked on just a little bit. I can't really talk because I do the same thing so no worries! Just letting you know!

PLOT: I'm not really sure where the plot is going. All I know is that Parker Ryan suddenly shows up and Ellen tries to keep reality in check and know he'd never want to be with her. I know your book is cliché, and I don't read a lot of those. I don't know if it's the type of book with more fluff than serious stuff.

OVERALL THOUGHTS: i like the way your story is going. I feel terrible that Ellen's dad is an alcoholic & that she has a pretty dark outlook to life. The poem project is so predictable I love it lmao.

HOW FAR I GOT: I got to chapter 6. I was tempted to keep reading to figure out what happened to Ellen & her past but I had(have) two other reviews!

OTHER:
Was I hooked: a little bit. I only wanted to know what happens to Ellen in the past, I wasn't that concerned about Parker and Ellen as a couple.
Did I like it: It's written very nicely! Everything flows good! The dialogue flows well to!
Would I keep reading: that's a hard one. I've only finished a few books ever on Wattpad so my biggest guess is probably not. It's nothing against you or your writing (which is great!) it's just that I never have the time or motivation to read lately.

MORE: I already told you about the joke your character made and I'm very glad we didn't get into a fight! Thank you for listening to my side of it!

ADVICE: just keep writing! You have a great story ahead of you, just have fun! Just look out for certain jokes, and the early chapters don't seem to give much to the climax of the plot!

My questions for you:
- was this helpful?
- was i too harsh? sometimes I feel too brutal or not enough! just let me know.
- were you offended?

Please comment or PM me with any questions you have about your review! You are free to request again :)

Thank yaaa,

— dreamfloats