After Humanity

Chapter Forty-Six

So, bonus chapter for the week. Feel free to point out if there are more mistakes than usual. I havnt given this the final once over I usually try to...hehe

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Rachel

    It was hours before Rachel heard the door to the cabin open, but she was still wide awake. The horror of the day keeping her eyes from closing in spite of her exhaustion.

    "Still awake?" Alice commented, no doubt feeling Rachel's eyes upon her. She turned on the lights.

    "I couldn't sleep," Rachel answered, shifting in the bed to sit up. Alice nodded she moved through the room, washing her hands in the wash bowl she kept on the dresser. Rachel could see her scouring the dirt from beneath her fingernails. She wondered how much of Olivia's blood remained upon them as well.

    Rachel noticed how exhausted the old woman appeared. It was as if every line and crevice in Alice's face had been chiseled just a bit deeper. And she was moving so slowly.

    "Alice?" Rachel asked.

    The older woman didn't reply.

    "Are you all right?"

    "Of course I am," Alice answered, but Rachel could hear the edge in her tone.

    Staring at the old woman's drawn face, Rachel could not help but feel sympathy. She thought of Kathryn's words and suddenly the questions began tumbling out of her mouth.

    "Kathryn said that Magnus has never asks you to choose among his flock. That you are never forced to butcher a human carcass. That."

    "Kathryn talks too much," Alice snapped, cutting her off. "Go to bed Rachel."

    "But."

    "No," Alice spat angrily before Rachel could continue, turning to face her and hold her gaze. "I am not the monster you think I am. I am not a heartless creature who feels nothing when faced with the death of our own. I grieve for each and every one of those we lose, but this? I have not been forced to do such unpleasant tasks as I did today in more than thirty years when I lived under my old master's roof.

    "Forcing me to face a full human corpse in my kitchen? Demanding that I be the one to name the condemned among us lest more be made to die? These are horrors Magnus would never force upon me. But that matters little does it not? We all have jobs to do, Rachel. Our Master allows me to act as overseer without forcing me to fully compromise my humanity. Torvald has chosen to be less generous. But I know my place and will willingly sacrifice whatever I must to protect those I have sworn to. It is the position I agreed to take on years ago and I will not endanger it now, potentially risking the lives of every human here for my own moral comfort."

    Rachel was speechless for a moment. For the first time, she felt as if she truly understood the woman standing before her. She understood the cold affect, the anger. Alice really had likely done all that she could to keep them safe. Rachel wondered how many more Torvald might have killed or sold without Alice there to prevent it. She knew with certainty their temporary Master had been eyeing her own life as one for the taking yet he had stayed his hand. Maybe Kathryn had been right all along in her judgment of Alice. Maybe the woman had always been their protector...

     "I'm sorry," Rachel said finally. "I just never really understood. I... Kathryn was sorry too. She didn't mean to blame you."

    "It is hardly your place to speak for another," Alice said sharply. "And Kathryn's behavior was unacceptable. Perhaps she is not fit to take my place after all. Perhaps she should live and end her life like all of the others."

    Rachel was horrified at Alice's response. Had she just inadvertently condemned Kathryn to death?

    "But I thought you cared for Kathryn?" Rachel protested.

    Alice gave a small mirthless laugh and shook her head.

    "You still don't understand do you?" she said. "It is because I care for Kathryn that I fear subjecting her to my fate. She is a kind soul. She cares about the women here. Her reaction to Olivia's death proves just how much it would hurt her to live as I do."

    Rachel blinked in surprise. Were those tears in Alice's eyes?

    "I cannot say now what Kathryn's fate may be," Alice said, somehow managing to regain her stoic facade. "Nor your's, nor mine. If Magnus does not recover my wishes will not matter. Torvald sees me as a nuisance. An old, ornery, rebellious animal. If his brother should die, he will not hesitate to eliminate me as swiftly as possible. Every one of Magnus's slaves will likely all be sold, or slaughtered and there will be nothing to prevent it.

    "But if our Master returns and I do have the chance to voice my opinion I will hesitate greatly to condemn a true friend to live as I do. Acting as overseer would slowly eat away and Kathryn's humanity as it has mine. It would for any. Maybe it would be best if I simply live my life without a successor. If I advise Magnus to leave the human trade once I am gone. To slaughter each and every one of his slaves in one fell swoop and be done with it."

    Alice chuckled and shook her head at Rachel's horrified expression.

    "Don't you see, Rachel. He will not heed such a request. I care for our Master a great deal, and I would do anything to see him well again, but in the end, he is a sibla. I am a slave. The human trade is profitable. I doubt Magnus will simply abandon it at my command."

    "But..." Rachel still had trouble believing that Alice would suggest they all die. That she would change her mind and decide to leave Kathryn to slaughter. Would Alice tell Magnus to murder her as well? Rachel had thought the old woman was protecting them both, that was what Torvald had implied. Was she only saving them so that Magnus could be the one to deal the final blow?

    "Go to bed, Rachel," Alice said with a tired sigh. "I see the questions in your eyes but I am exhausted and have no wish to speak any further. Please don't push me. For once just listen and obey."

    Rachel felt immediate guilt. She hadn't meant to upset Alice even more, but it seemed she had. Rachel lay her head down on the pillow without complaint. It was only a few minutes before she heard the lights click off and Alice joined her beneath the covers, but the woman kept her back turned.

    "Alice?" Rachel whispered, unable to keep the question to herself. "Will you show me where Olivia is buried? I want to say goodbye. She was always nice to me. She deserves to be remembered and have people visit her.

    Alice turned over to look at Rachel. The threat of tears visible in her eyes again even in the dark. "That is very kind of you, Rachel," she said. "The gifts we give the dead are the most selfless of all you know, for they will never be repaid in this life. But I'm certain Olivia's soul will be grateful for your respect and care. I will show you her grave tomorrow."

    Alice opened her arms and Rachel eagerly snuggled her body in close.

    "Thank you for protecting us, Alice," Rachel said as she closed her eyes, happy for the safety ofAlice's warmth and comforting embrace.

    "I protect all of my Master's stock," Alice answered, stroking Rachel's hair affectionately. "For as long as possible. That is my job." She placed a kiss atop Rachel's head. "Good night, child," she said. "Escape into your dreams. It is the only place we are truly free."

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So I guess I couldn't wait to update haha. I decided that I will just keep doing three chapters a week and the final week of posting will have 4. Thoughts on the scene? I mean I personally just feel SO badly for Alice in this section of the book. :-( Friday's chapter will actually bring us to the past one last time...Less than 10 chapters to go until the end. Wonder what will happen next ;-)