one direction imagines

(zayn)

i remember every word that was said. the ones that are ringing through my head the most are the words I said well more like screamed. the words I screamed at zayn as he sat there looking at me. he didn't say anything at first which made me more angry. but when he did say something I wished he hadn't. he said 3 simple words. those 3 words changed every thing in an instant,

"im  so done"  after he said that he got up and left.

he left me to crying and feeling like a horrible person. and that's exactly how I have felt for the past month and a half. I am completely exhausted. because I cant sleep at night without zayn. I end up crying all night. then falling asleep during work or my university classes.  im pretty sure im falling all my uni classes because im so preoccupied thinking about zayn.

I always thought it was stupid when people say "I didn't know I could miss someone this much".

but now that's how im feeling. I tried disconnecting myself from all of zayns social media pages or any pages that could possibly bring something up about him. but that didn't work it made me feel even more depressed. I have stopped doing stuff with my friends because I only make them depressed and ruin the night. so basically all I do is watch old films and sleep. most days I don't even change out of my pajamas.

but today I decided was going to be different. I was going to get up shower put nice clothes on and do my hair and make up . go to uni and actually focus on my classes. and then I was going to go to zayns flat.

I found that focusing in class was a lot harder then I thought it was going to be. the last class of the day was the worst of them all. my stomach was in a huge knot. and all I couldn't think about was what  I was going to say to zayn.

when class was dismissed I dragged myself out of the classroom and slowly walked to my car. I drove quickly so that I wouldn't have a lot of time to change my mind and go home instead of to zayns flat.

I prayed that he wouldn't have any company when I got there or I knew I would never be able to actually talk to him.

when I got to zayn flat there was only one car in the drive. it was zayns.

I pulled into the drive and turned off the car. I sat there for a moment nervously gripping the steering wheel.

I finally convinced myself to get out and go to the door.

when I got to the door I knocked  and nervously waited. I still wasn't sure what I was going to say to him.

I was gripping the keys so hard that they were digging into my palms but I was so nervous it didn't hurt .

when zayn answer the door he looked slightly surprised but mostly tiered. he was wearing a white t-shirt with dark jeans. his hair was messed up which surprised me since his hair was so important to him. he had dark circles under his eyes and some stubble on his chin.

" uh hi" he said as he held the door

" hi I-im sorry for just dropping bye like this but I needed to say something" I blurted out

" your not going to yell are you" he asked

" un no" I said looking down " I actually wanted to apologize for that I um I don't know why I yelled but im really sorry"

I looked back up at him and he said nothing he just gave me a blank stare

" uh well Im sorry" I said backing up then turned and started to walk back to my car

" I love you" I heard him say

my heart fluttered and I spun around he gave me a sweet smile and I ran back up to the door

he met me with a hug that lasted for about a century. but I was so happy to be back in his arms that I didn't care.

" I missed you so much" he mumbled against my leather jacket

" I missed you more then I knew I could" I said as I pulled back from the hug.

I leaned In and kissed him which tickled slightly because of his stubble. I put a hand up to his face and touched his stubble.

" you like it" he asked laughing slightly

I nodded " it tickles" 

" it itches like heck" he said scratching it  

I laughed and kissed him again

"you want to come in" he asked

I nodded and walked In.

" whats wrong with your hand" he asked as he gently picked up the hands with my keys in it

I looked down at it and there was a stream of blood in between each finger.

" I may have been a little nervous" I replied

" come on" he said and I followed him to the bathroom.

I unclenched my hand over the sink and grimaced as I finally felt the pain.

zayn fixed up my hand and rinsed of my keys. we then spent the rest of the night cuddling. only after zayn showered and got cleaned up.