one direction imagines

(zayn)

I take a deep breath and smooth down my dress in the mirror and scoff at the dark circles under my eyes. These past few days since Marne died have been absolute torture. I have barely slept at all and I am currently on pilot mode. I don’t even feel like I am awake right now. It feels like a nightmare that I can’t wake up from. All I want to do right now is to go lay down and sleep but instead I have to go out and sit in a hard church pew and listen to everyone talk about how great Marne was.

I walk over to the bathroom door pushing it open . I look around and see zayn leaning up against the wall.  He spots me and walks over.

“ you all right love?” he asks placing his hand on my arm

I give him a small nod “ can we just leave and go back home or something” I ask him

“ the service hasn’t even started yet , I think it would be quite rude to leave before then” he says

“ you know what I think is quite rude” I ask raising my voice slightly “ all the judge mental looks I have been getting since we got here”  

“ try and be a bit quieter love, I know you are upset but you’re attracting attention” zayn says looking around

I look around also and all the people standing in the small sitting room of the funeral home are looking at us

“ guess what zayn I don’t care if they look at me they have been doing it all day and are going to continue doing it no matter what I say WELL GUESS WHAT PEOPLE I DON’T GIVE A  -” zayn stops me before I can finish what I was going to say

“okay that’s quite enough” he says clamping his hand over my mouth and leading me back into the bathroom

He closed and locks the door behind us

“  what was that” zayn asks turning to me

“ im sorry I shouldn’t have said that its just that its really hard when everyone is staring at me because they think im  the reason Marne died, its not exactly easy to deal with the fact that im never going  to see my best friend again , its not easy to be constantly being judged by these people and now I have to live with the fact that I killed Marne”  I said covering my face with my hands

“ babe don’t say that you know perfectly well that its not your fault. That car drove right in front of you, you did everything you could to try and stop it” zayn said walking over to me

“ but it still doesn’t make this any easier” I sob

Zayn wraps his arms around my and engulfs me into a hug . I slip my arms around his torso  and hold onto the back of his suit jacket .

After a few moments of us standing there a lady comes and knocks on the door to inform us that the funeral service is about to start. I take a deep choppy breath and let go of zayn’s suit .

He moved one of his hands to my face and whips off some tears .

“ im fine” say trying to sound convincing but instead my words come out choppy and pathetic “ sorry im such a mess”

“ don’t apologize”  he replies cupping my face in his hands

“ I love you” he says leaning in to kiss the tip of my nose

I reach up and wrap my hand around my wrists as they hold onto my face

“ I love you too” I reply

Zayn gives my one more kiss before he grabs my hand  “we better go and take our seats”

I nod and we walk out. We sit in the front row with the family even though we shouldn’t be but her mom insisted on it. I look around to see a bunch of people I don’t know dabbing their eyes with tissues.

After the funeral is over and me and zayn have gone home I sit on the porch with a cup of tea letting the wind blow through my hair wondering how im ever going to be able to live without my best friend………..