Moments to Remember

With All My Heart

"M-me?! Well.... what do you mean?" Roger let go of my hand and looked at me with wide eyes.
"I don't know Rog... I just- I could hear you." I looked at his hands and he twiddled his thumbs.
"Bri?" I looked up at him and he looked like a child. His eyes looked troubled and he looked to be on the verge of crying.
I lifed my eyebrows at him and he continued. "I wasn't one of the ones being mean to you... was I?"
"Roger... it was a dream... it doesn't matter what you did in it." I scooted closer to him and he sat up in bed.
"Brian. I asked you a question." He spoke a little more sternly and pulled the sheets up to his naked chest.
"Roger..." I sighed and reached my hand out to touch him but he recoiled. 

He had never done this before. Not during our relationship as a couple, nor our relationship as friends had he not allow a simple physical contact such as this. It hurt, like a blow to the stomach.

I widened my eyes and looked at him. I scanned my eyes up and down his body, kinda like making sure this really was Roger- my Roger. 
"No." I had my gaze fixed on the pile of clothes on the floor as I spoke. It was a pile of our clothes, the ones we were desperate to tear off each other hours earlier. "I know you wouldn't hurt me like that."
I closed my eyes, letting a single tear streak down my cheek. I didn't jump when I felt soft skin wipe it away, but I didn't exactly expect it.
"And I wouldn't.... I'm sorry Bri... I don't know why I did that." He let the sheet fall back down and reached for my hand. 
"It's okay Rog... I feel silly being scared, it was just a dream." He rubbed his hands up and down my forearm.
"Bri, it was a nightmare... nightmares can be really frightening. Nothing that has you acting the way you were is silly... not to me."  I could see the love sparkling in his eyes.

The milky light leaking in through the window hit his eyes just right and softly played on his smooth skin.
I pulled him into a hug and he kissed my ear. "I do love you Bri... so much."
"I know Rog, I know... I love you too, with all my heart." We told each other that everyday, and I never get tired of hearing it.

I remember the first time I heard him tell me that.

It was about a week after our first kiss. I already knew he loved me and I was pretty darn sure he knew I loved him, but actually saying it was a hug step. With it being long before we told Fred and John, we were still having to sneak around together and make up reasons to be alone. We were to have a day off from recording one day and I had been talking about taking my telescope out to the park and watching the stars, I really wanted Roger to accompany me. I had talked constantly about it in hopes of annoying the other two so when I said I needed help and wanted someone to go with me, they'd both declined. It was actually Roger's idea and his little plan worked! He's got more going on in that little head of his than people give him credit for. That night when I had asked if someone could help me carry my stuff, both Freddie and John made up excuses as to why that couldn't and John told me to go ask Roger. I asked him and he of course said yes. We winked at each other and grabbed my stuff, heading to the park. Roger had carried a large quilt with us for us to lay on together. When we arrived at the park we looked around and no one else was there. I set up my telescope as he shook out the quilt and spread it across the cool grass. I had my telescope set up and was adjusting the eye piece when I felt him wrap his arms around my waist. I felt butterflies dancing in my stomach and smiled as I backed away a little from the telescope and turned to face him. I remember admiring the way the stars twinkled in his baby blues. We shared a loving kiss before I showed him various stars and such through the telescope. He was actually very much interested in it and told me that now he doesn't find it as boring as he thought it was before. It was the first time he'd ever really gotten the chance to explore what's in the sky. After a while of looking through the telescope, I took his hand in mine and led him over to the quilt with me. We both sat down together, holding hands an looking up. We fell back on our backs to admire the night sky and giggled. When he looked into my eyes, the stars did not compare to those deep blue saucers. They shone brighter than any star I saw above us. He scooted closer to my body and I wrapped an arm around him. We stayed like that, just enjoying each other's company in the silence. After a while I heard a soft voice break the silence and whisper the words that I longed t hear, but was too nervous to say myself. His hot breath lingered on my ear with the words "I love you. With all my heart." After that night, we made a kind of... habit if you will, and we tell each other that every day.